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Wednesday, 06/30/2010 - 6:31 a.m.

I have a dress fitting at 3 pm and I'm so anxious about it that I can't go back to sleep. I can't wear any of my hairpieces and the bride has already specified the types and styles of jewelry we can wear so no big sparklies. I can't even wear heavy eyeliner. It's not that I want to upstage the bride in any way; it's just that I don't want to look like dog shit.

And I've had nightmares about that goddamn strapless brassiere.

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