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Friday, 04/08/2011 - 2:31 a.m.

Dear Stephen King,

I fell in love with your books when I was about 12 or so, after I found Carrie in an old pile of paperbacks in our garage. Until I was 25 or so I read everything you wrote that I could get my hands on - I remember carrying IT in hardback (all 900 pages of it) around my freshman year of high school, and The Stand (all 1100 pages of it) in my senior year. I cried my ass off reading The Green Mile, cried for Johnny and Sarah in The Dead Zone and thought (and still think) The Running Man and Dolores Claiborne are two of the best stories I've ever read. I read Night Shift until it fell apart, as did Dolores Claiborne but I found all the pages to that one. I probably own more Stephen King works than any other 3 authors combined on my bookshelves.

And then, around lost your damn mind. (Yes, I know you got hit by a van and were gravely injured. That doesn't change the fact you started cranking out crap.) You seemed to be afflicted by what I call "The Dean Koontz Syndrome". That's when a previously kick-ass author now gets paid a million dollars a word (or whatever fantastic sum you get) and therefore starts spewing out random crap in the pursuit of a buck.

About 3 years ago, I got hooked on the Dark Tower series and tore through the first 3 books. Then it all got stupid so I ditched you yet again. My husband, bless his heart, got me Cell for my birthday a while ago and that just reinforced my belief about you and Dean Koontz Syndrome because Cell was horse piss. Absolute horse piss.

However, Mr. King, let me be the first to say that you have redeemed yourself most spectacularly. A Good Marriage from Full Dark, No Stars blew past The Running Man and gave Dolores Claiborne a run for the money, without ever having to shift out of second gear. Darcy Anderson (like Dolores) is a stronger woman than I will probably ever be (although I would like to believe I could do what they both did if my husband/boyfriend ever turned out to be a monster in a man's skin). Darcellen bought you a lot of leeway with me (as did Roland and then I read Cell but I digress) so I will give you another try. I'm not sure where to start again since a good chunk of your most recent writings still look like crap, however, I'm going to pick something else post-2000 and give it a shot.


The Fat Girl

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