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Wednesday, 03/31/2010 - 5:00 p.m.

I've been divorced 5 years this month. Wow. (I'll be married 5 years in June. Also wow.)

It's been an entire year today since I've had a period. Bless you from the bottom of my heart and uterus, modern medicine.

Dear George Eads,

You are one evermore good-looking somebody. However, should you *ever* feel the urge again to grow that horrible porn-star-esque moustache, slam your head into the nearest wall until the urge goes away or you lose consciousness. (Whichever comes first.) Should a friend/relative suggest that you grow that thing again, slam her/his head into the nearest wall. Thanks!

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