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Monday, 08/06/2007 - 11:22 p.m.

The Munch was 10 years old this weekend and I'm tickled as I can be that it lasted this long. My first marriage didn't last that long...heh. 16Candles brought me stargazers and a cake and I snotted up. She and I got to sit and talk for a bit at the dungeon and she said something that absolutely made my life. Not just my day, but my life. She said that instead of antidepressants she reads my blog because it makes her laugh and feel better. Holy shit, dude. I snotted up over that, too. I see the blog as just a big ol' whinefest some days and a big ol' porn movie other days. It was overwhelming to find out someone actually saw some depth or substance to my ramblings.

The Divine Miss M and CT came to the Munch! I hadn't seen them since right after Babyface was born and I snotted up on them, too. I was completely thrilled and flattered that they made the time to attend because I know it was killing the Divine Miss M to leave Babyface for that long.

The Boy met us at the dungeon and I beat the crap out of him. When he says "If I cry, take that as a red", I know it's going to be a helluva night. His back has squid whip marks and is mottled; his chest has scratches and bruises and one big honking bite mark. He teared up once so I asked him if he wanted to stop and he said no. The second time, though, he did want to stop and I almost pushed him a little farther than he wanted to go. It's a rare occasion these days when he wants to be the bottom (which is fine) but I'm always afraid I'll take him farther than he wants. I push him harder physically than I do DC because he's so muscular and built. I push DC harder psychologically, though, because the more I twist his brain the more I can hurt his body. The violence and brutality I feel towards the Boy scares the crap out of me sometimes. Just because I *can* push him til he collapses doesn't mean I *should*. We had mean evil sex when we got home and I came my brains out. I knew how bad his chest hurt and dug my nails in anyway. He called me a cunt and a bitch and snapped his teeth at me, and it just fueled me on. I wanted to make him cry again, dammit. He kept saying "Take me, Mistress" over and over, and that fueled me on as well. He very rarely says the M word so it's very powerful when he does. He jerked me off at the end and was talking all kinds of smack about how bad his chest hurt and how much he loved it and how much he loved me for it. Jesus Gawd. I bit him and he finally had to say "Stop! STOP!" before I let go.

I never played physically this hard with anyone other than DC and even after 3 years my capacity for violence still scares me. I never thought I'd find 1 person who would let me treat him this way, let alone 2. Especially 2 who revel in it and grovel for more. Especially 2 who can turn it around on me and treat me just as meanly as I do them. Holy fucking shit.

We were slugs on Sunday and I was grateful for it. Lazy Sundays really are the best times at our house(s). We ate lunch all piled up in my bed, chattering about nothing and laughing. We all napped a lot, too. YAY!

I took the plunge this weekend about hosting a women only party and got it worked out with the local dungeon peoples. I used to host parties like this all the time way back when and just stopped because it got to be too much of a hassle. It's 8 weeks away so I have plenty of time to get all my ducks in a row. I'm actually really excited about it and hope we have a huge turnout.

Which brings me to today...I have Top Drop in a big way so I was mostly stupid today. I survived Dr. Evil, though, and that's really all that matters. Early bed time tonight.

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