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Thursday, 10/01/2009 - 12:38 p.m.

There are not enough words in the English language to convey how much I hate Dr. Hottie's dental assistant.

I had sexual fantasies about the Bird Kid the entire time I was under the nitrous. I just turned 35 and he's 20 (he's legal but just barely) so technically he's not a felony. I still feel odd about my feelings for him, though.

Also, while under the influence, I said about the loud shrill patient in the next room, "Holy crap, what an obnoxious twat!". Whoops.

Hanging out the window screaming "Get out of the goddamn way, dipshit!" didn't really help the situation but it did make me feel better.

I'm going to take lots of pills and lie down.

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