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Sunday, 03/28/2010 - 12:32 a.m.

I've been blue this past week and just wanted the whole world to go to hell.

Emo Fat Girl showed up yesterday because goddamn it, I miss Mal. I want to know why our relationship unraveled like it did, I really want to know why he couldn't be even a tiny bit gracious when I offered the olive branch, and I really want to know why he threw our relationship back in my face. That's what's irking me the most about this whole damn thing - all the unanswered "whys".

My mother-in-law has lung cancer that metastasized from her breast cancer, despite the double mastectomy. We're driving to Washington and staying for a week and while I dread it now while we're planning the trip, I know I'll enjoy it once we actually get there. She's in excellent spirits over the whole thing and is not really worried.

DC has been a wound-up lunatic for the past 2 weeks and his insanity has driven me partially insane as well. Most of it is work bullshit and the rest is worry over his mother. Having a hot dinner waiting hasn't helped, making sure the house was clean hasn't helped, making sure the laundry was all done and put away hasn't helped, having really good sex only sort of helped. So this past week I pretty much said "Fuck it" and slept really late, watched CSI on DVD, and ate my weight in popcorn and chocolate. And cried. I could only be the cheerleader-uberwife for so long before I snapped. I'm glad to see him when he gets home but I dread it a little too because I never know what kind of mood he'll be in.

However, my stress level is way down (and hopefully will stay that way for a few days) due to the massive beating and fucking I got tonight. You know the sex was incredible when the bed looks like a bomb went off in it and there's trick towels wadded up all over the place. I came hard enough for my vision to gray out around the edges. My tits have purple splotches from the squid whip, my thighs are sore from it as well, and I'm covered in bite marks. And I'm tickled to say I only had to "yellow" once. DC has really turned into quite the proficient sadist. YAY! Apparently there's some butt rape to look forward to later on today. He hid the special peppermint balm from me so I can't play with it without him so hopefully that will be making an appearance as well.

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