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Sunday, 10/22/2006 - 8:05 p.m.

Today is my and the Boy's anniversary. 2 years ago today we went on our first date and we both knew even then sparks were there. I knew in January of 2005 I was in love with him and would do whatever it took to make sure I held onto him. We've talked on the phone several times today and been mushy (or as the Boy says "ooey-gooey icky-sticky lovey-dovey") and it was all good.

Because with DC we're a threesome and that's "different" this quote has been in my mind since Friday night. It's from V for Vendetta.

"'I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care. I am me. My name is Valerie. I don't think I'll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography that I will ever write and God, I'm writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tottle Brook and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my 11 Plus and went to girls' grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sarah. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Sarah did. I didn't. In 2002, I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me. He told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I'd only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free. I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life and in 2015 I starred in my first film, The Salt Flats. It was the most important role of my life. Not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew Scarlet Carsons for me in our window box and our place always smelt of roses. Those were the best years of my life. It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses, and apologized to no one. I remember how "different" became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me.'"

The other quote that goes thru my mind at least once a week, usually after someone has told a gay joke or said so-and-so is a fag/dyke or I have to lie about who the Boy is and what he means to me is:

They came for the Communists, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Communist;
They came for the Socialists, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Socialist;
They came for the labor leaders, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a labor leader;
They came for the Jews, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Jew;
Then they came for me - And there was no one left to object.

- Martin Niemoller, German Protestant Pastor, 1892-1984

This has turned into a melancholy entry and I really didn't mean for it to be. I'm out to pretty much everyone (even a few people at work, who took it well) and it really really *really* bothers me that anyone and everyone cannot be open about who and what they are.

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