Tuesday, 11/18/2014 - At least I don't have the herp
Sunday, 02/02/2014 - Up the dosage
Saturday, 11/17/2012 - And don't come visit, either
Monday, 08/27/2012 - Narcissistic much?
Sunday, 08/26/2012 - It's just some walls and a roof
Friday, 08/10/2012 - The crazy...it burns!
Thursday, 08/02/2012 - In other words, business as usual
Friday, 01/20/2012 - Just sound bites
Wednesday, 12/14/2011 - At least the wins outnumber the loses
Saturday, 11/26/2011 - Success!!!
Monday, 11/21/2011 - Welcome to Thanksgiving From Hell
Thursday, 10/13/2011 - What's happening at Chateau Libido these days?
Monday, 10/03/2011 - Have your tickets and ID ready, thank you
Monday, 09/26/2011 - The things you own end up owning you
Monday, 09/19/2011 - Insanity comes in lots of pretty colors
Monday, 08/22/2011 - T minus 3 and counting
Monday, 08/08/2011 - Hot enough for ya?
Friday, 07/29/2011 - I can haz house?
Thursday, 07/21/2011 - Pain is just weakness leaving the body
Tuesday, 07/19/2011 - And Happy Birthday to me
Sunday, 07/17/2011 - Quote of the day
Tuesday, 07/12/2011 - Jane Austen to the rescue
Tuesday, 07/12/2011 - House bitch
Wednesday, 07/06/2011 - Maybe it's our approach
Tuesday, 07/05/2011 - Spandex! It's good for what ails you!
Thursday, 06/23/2011 - 'Cause that's how I roll
Friday, 06/17/2011 - It was a sad day when Jerry Orbach died
Sunday, 06/12/2011 - What is the difference between destiny and fate?
Saturday, 06/04/2011 - Welcome to the world, baby girl!
Friday, 05/20/2011 - When the hell did I get old?
Sunday, 05/15/2011 - Angels and demons
Monday, 05/09/2011 - Really? Seriously?
Wednesday, 05/04/2011 - It's raining babies
Tuesday, 05/03/2011 - April showers bring May floods
Wednesday, 04/20/2011 - Sometimes love is not enough
Friday, 04/08/2011 - Dean Koontz Syndrome
Wednesday, 04/06/2011 - Shazam!
Wednesday, 03/16/11 - My kind of therapy
Thursday, 03/10/11 - Feh. Just feh.
Friday, 01/28/2011 - Courageous or just stupid?
Monday, 01/17/2011 - What muscle do you flex for that?
Saturday, 01/08/2011 - That would be my illusions
Monday, 12/27/2010 - Yeah, it's a muthafuckin' Monday
Sunday, 12/26/2010 - This is some bullshit right here
Monday, 12/20/2010 - The magical Xmas unicorn
Wednesday, 12/15/2010 - Say it with me - douchebag!
Friday, 12/10/2010 - No shit, there I was
Sunday, 11/28/2010 - What happened to Mr. Shy and Bashful?
Monday, 11/22/2010 - It's all red, so it's festive
Monday, 11/22/2010 - I need to invest in a better scale
Tuesday, 11/16/2010 - "You get me closer to God"
Thursday, 11/11/2010 - And on Veteran's Day, no less
Sunday, 11/07/2010 - "You brain-dead zombie bastards!"
Thursday, 11/04/2010 - Again, I'm not dead
Sunday, 10/17/2010 - Amen.
Tuesday, 10/12/2010 - "Bunny sex" is fun to say
Wednesday, 10/06/2010 - Oh, good lord
Monday, 10/04/2010 - I believe I'll have some Ben and Jerry's to celebrate
Thursday, 09/30/2010 - There's not enough cheerleader porn in my opinion
Friday, 09/24/2010 - I am not the mom you're looking for
Thursday, 09/23/2010 - Other words to live by
Thursday, 09/23/2010 - There's not a whole lot ice cream can't fix
Wednesday, 09/22/2010 - Make that, you Starbucks bitches!
Tuesday, 09/21/2010 - No, I haven't died
Saturday, 09/11/2010 - Carrying my shield or on it
Thursday, 09/09/2010 - Jesus says don't be a playa hater
Thursday, 09/02/2010 - Til she cries orange
Tuesday, 08/31/2010 - I can't really throw stones but I'm gonna anyway
Friday, 08/27/2010 - Hell, yes!
Thursday, 08/26/2010 - Words to live by
Wednesday, 08/25/2010 - Long may they be married
Saturday, 08/21/2010 - Important safety tip - thanks, Egon
Wednesday, 08/18/2010 - Calm as a Hindu cow, baby
Sunday, 08/15/2010 - What happens at the bachelorette party...gets posted to my blog
Thursday, 08/12/2010 - Success!
Wednesday, 08/11/2010 - Sloth - not just a critter
Wednesday, 08/11/2010 - Hot damn!
Friday, 08/06/2010 - Reality check
Friday, 08/06/2010 - Oh, frabjous day!
Thursday, 08/05/2010 - With my luck, we'll crash into a mountain
Friday, 07/30/2010 - It's been a long week
Monday, 07/26/2010 - Got baggage?
Monday, 07/26/2010 - I hope Heaven is living up to her expectations
Sunday, 07/25/2010 - Just because your world is going to hell in a handbasket doesn't mean you have to look like it.
Saturday, 07/24/2010 - It was my husband's idea
Tuesday, 07/20/2010 - And one to grow on, indeed
Monday, 07/19/2010 - 36
Sunday, 07/18/2010 - I apparently spoke too soon
Saturday, 07/17/2010 - Been thinkin' about you
Friday, 07/16/2010 - The Near-Death report
Monday, 07/12/2010 - I'm so over this whole death thing
Saturday, 07/10/2010 - Same shit, different day
Friday, 07/09/2010 - The Catholic Church is going to hell
Friday, 07/09/2010 - I'm the one going to hell this time
Wednesday, 07/07/2010 - We're both going to hell
Monday, 07/05/2010 - I'm not always a filthy whore
Sunday, 07/04/2010 - Resisting temptation is not my strong suit
Friday, 07/02/2010 - Jesus is my homeboy
Wednesday, 06/30/2010 - Take that, Universe!
Wednesday, 06/30/2010 - We're our own worst critics
Tuesday, 06/29/2010 - This ain't no thinkin' thing
Sunday, 06/27/2010 - How I spent my Saturday night
Friday, 06/25/2010 - More Reno 911
Thursday, 06/24/2010 - I don't even watch Jersey Shore
Tuesday, 06/22/2010 - Where the hell was Lassie?
Monday, 06/21/2010 - The week in review
Monday, 06/14/2010 - The best weekend *EVER*
Monday, 06/14/2010 - Reno 911
Friday, 06/11/2010 - I *am* Ninja Cat Burglar
Friday, 06/11/2010 - Are you there, fertility gods? It's me, Fat Girl.
Thursday, 06/10/2010 - Epic porn fail
Thursday, 06/10/2010 - This comes as a surprise to no one
Tuesday, 06/08/2010 - So pretty
Sunday, 06/06/2010 - An awesome 2 months
Friday, 06/04/2010 - 5 years!
Monday, 05/31/2010 - At least we're over the poop hurdle
Sunday, 05/30/2010 - Bodily functions are gross
Friday, 05/28/2010 - Pretend it's Sunday the 23rd
Thursday, 05/27/2010 - Shut up, Maria
Tuesday, 05/25/2010 - Five bucks well spent
Tuesday, 05/25/2010 - Pay attention, Gibbs
Monday, 05/24/2010 - Fill out your census, bitches - they're serious
Friday, 05/21/2010 - Poofed within an inch of its life
Friday, 05/21/2010 - I am so, dammit!
Wednesday, 05/19/2010 - Sparkly *and* trashy!
Wednesday, 05/19/2010 - I'm fashion-challenged even in my dreams
Tuesday, 05/18/2010 - Big boobs - not so great, actually
Monday, 05/17/2010 - The Universe tried to cock-block me and failed
Sunday, 05/16/2010 - I don't know who made that decision
Wednesday, 05/12/2010 - If it's not one thing, it's a-damn-nother
Wednesday, 05/12/2010 - Your momma
Saturday, 05/08/2010 - And there's more cake, too
Saturday, 05/08/2010 - I could get used to this
Thursday, 05/06/2010 - It bears repeating
Thursday, 05/06/2010 - Yeah, I'm keeping him
Monday, 05/03/2010 - Sleeps well with others
Friday, 04/30/2010 - It's date night! ACK!
Thursday, 04/29/2010 - Bleh.
Tuesday, 04/27/2010 - The colors, man, the colors
Monday, 04/26/2010 - The smell of lust
Friday, 04/23/2010 - So now what do I do?
Thursday, 04/22/2010 - You pay for your good times, one way or another
Monday, 04/19/2010 - I don't know if it was "Fuck with the Fat Girl" or what
Sunday, 04/18/2010 - Damn whore! Damn whore!
Saturday, 04/17/2010 - I am never going to Europe. Ever.
Thursday, 04/15/2010 - Thursday is not my lucky day, apparently
Tuesday, 04/13/2010 - So it's gonna be like that, eh, God?
Monday, 04/12/2010 - Ground floor next time so I won't be tempted
Sunday, 04/04/2010 - Wow. Just wow.
Saturday, 04/03/2010 - Skin
Friday, 04/02/2010 - Less with the awesome, more with the Valium
Thursday, 04/01/2010 - Calm as a Hindu cow
Wednesday, 03/31/2010 - A year!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, 03/30/2010 - Isn't "love" just another word for "strangle"?
Sunday, 03/28/2010 - "You hit like a girl" is not a valid safeword
Saturday, 03/27/2010 - Sometimes the silence screams
Monday, 03/22/2010 - Bad things
Monday, 03/15/2010 - Blowjob Clown saves the day
Wednesday, 03/10/2010 - It's all lust and BDSM 'round here
Sunday, 03/07/2010 - Greek goddess
Tuesday, 03/02/2010 - Best vajayjay appt. ever!
Sunday, 02/28/2010 - At least I found a kick-ass dress
Saturday, 02/27/2010 - "Reform School Girls" made me gay
Tuesday, 02/23/2010 - Spark plug? Butt plug!
Tuesday, 02/23/2010 - Love Hurts
Friday, 02/19/2010 - Yeah, I'm a sick monkey
Tuesday, 02/16/2010 - Take that, Cupid
Friday, 02/12/2010 - Blessed is the Friday
Tuesday, 02/09/2010 - And thus endeth the affair
Sunday, 02/07/2010 - At least they were quick
Friday, 02/05/2010 - And for 30 seconds, I was 17 again
Tuesday, 02/02/2010 - HA! Freedom!
Sunday, 01/31/2010 - I am reborn
Thursday, 01/28/2010 - A sad day
Monday, 01/25/2010 - My butt is minty fresh
Saturday, 01/23/2010 - Small world!
Friday, 01/22/2010 - I am full of awesome and win
Friday, 01/22/2010 - Conversation at my house
Thursday, 01/21/2010 - No more muffins
Saturday, 01/16/2010 - 6 is good, too
Friday, 01/15/2010 - Nyquil-induced insanity
Thursday, 01/14/2010 - She'd forgive me eventually, right?
Wednesday, 01/13/2010 - Too drunk to care
Sunday, 01/10/2010 - I did not cry, at least not yet
Saturday, 01/09/2010 - Fat Girl 1, Universe 0
Friday, 01/08/2010 - Is it spring yet?
Monday, 01/04/2010 - It's your cousin, Marvin
Friday, 01/01/2010 - We survived Amateur Night
Friday, 12/25/2009 - Last Tuesday til Xmas
Sunday, 12/20/2009 - Even my panties had glitter in them
Monday, 12/14/2009 - Not a lot to say
Tuesday, 12/08/2009 - He was only taking a break
Monday, 12/07/2009 - Crack of dawn on a Monday - right on time
Sunday, 12/06/2009 - Got my groove back
Saturday, 12/05/2009 - I got nothin'
Tuesday, 12/01/2009 - I'll still make a fool out of myself for a woman
Monday, 11/30/2009 - Trust
Monday, 11/30/2009 - What does not burn away is pure
Monday, 11/30/2009 - Time for a new chair, I suppose
Friday, 11/27/2009 - Happy post-T'Giving, bitches
Wednesday, 11/25/2009 - Thanksgiving 2004
Tuesday, 11/24/2009 - Doing my part to spread the good word
Monday, 11/23/2009 - "That's what I call a magnificent dinner!"
Sunday, 11/22/2009 - I'll never be able to watch NCIS again
Thursday, 11/19/2009 - If only I looked like Deanna Troi
Monday, 11/16/2009 - My cat has been replaced by an alien
Sunday, 11/15/2009 - You can thank me later
Friday, 11/13/2009 - I have a hot date...with myself
Wednesday, 11/11/2009 - "Candyass!" is fun to say
Tuesday, 11/10/2009 - Super-short version
Monday, 11/09/2009 - And I'm usually so sharp, too
Sunday, 11/08/2009 - Want
Friday, 11/06/2009 - Everyone can just go to hell
Tuesday, 11/03/2009 - There's not a whole lot titties can't fix
Sunday, 11/01/2009 - I cannot make this shit up
Sunday, 11/01/2009 - Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law
Thursday, 10/29/2009 - "Retarded monkey on crack" is fun to say
Wednesday, 10/28/2009 - I have the karma saved up
Tuesday, 10/27/2009 - I'll be goddamned if I didn't do it again
Monday, 10/26/2009 - "Bert, Bert, you're shouting again, Bert"
Friday, 10/23/2009 - I'm not a racist, I swear. I just sound like one.
Thursday, 10/22/2009 - Happy Anniversary
Tuesday, 10/20/2009 - They be stealin' mah cheez
Sunday, 10/18/2009 - I refuse to lose my shit
Thursday, 10/15/2009 - 2nd time's the charm
Thursday, 10/15/2009 - Mother's Little Helper is certainly helping me
Wednesday, 10/14/2009 - Best. Husband. Ever.
Tuesday, 10/13/2009 - It's not all kinky sex and roses at my house
Monday, 10/12/2009 - It's a goddamn Monday all over
Sunday, 10/11/2009 - I am a walking swollen bruise
Thursday, 10/08/2009 - When I fuck up, I fuck up *big*
Wednesday, 10/07/2009 - Stick this in your eye
Monday, 10/05/2009 - Holy crap - overload!
Sunday, 10/04/2009 - Frightening
Thursday, 10/01/2009 - At least I have good drugs
Wednesday, 09/30/2009 - Baby blues
Monday, 09/28/2009 - The world is a little more fabulous
Sunday, 09/27/2009 - I know how to twist you to bring you to your knees
Friday, 09/25/2009 - It's been a helluva week
Friday, 09/25/2009 - Coma - from the Greek, meaning "deep sleep"
Wednesday, 09/23/2009 - Marathon Man with the teeth and the drilling and the torture? Bitch, please.
Monday, 09/21/2009 - Things I learned today
Friday, 09/18/2009 - At least I'm feeling better today
Wednesday, 09/16/2009 - And the Xbox blew up, too
Tuesday, 09/15/2009 - *sigh*
Thursday, 09/10/2009 - Shameful confessions
Tuesday, 09/08/2009 - WTF is a "fag enabler"?
Sunday, 09/06/2009 - I don't remember a big gay sparkly pirate in Rocky Horror
Wednesday, 09/02/2009 - Wait...what? A whole week went by?
Monday, 08/24/2009 - Reality check for today
Friday, 08/21/2009 - The different faces of crazy
Wednesday, 08/19/2009 - Yet another WTF??? moment at Target
Saturday, 08/15/2009 - Squeaky Fromme, we needed you a year ago
Wednesday, 08/12/2009 - By their vomitus ye shall know them
Saturday, 08/08/2009 - At least we didn't go to jail
Thursday, 08/06/2009 - Because when I think "retail" I immediately think of Jesus
Thursday, 08/06/2009 - The ethnic cleansing of my neighborhood
Wednesday, 08/05/2009 - "Goddamn, you're loud!"
Tuesday, 07/28/2009 - I can't drive 55
Monday, 07/27/2009 - I can haz glass?
Thursday, 07/23/2009 - Happiness is a *LOT* of satchel charges
Wednesday, 07/22/2009 - One whiff of crazy and I'm outta there
Sunday, 07/19/2009 - 40 is just around the corner
Saturday, 07/18/2009 - My own damn fault
Wednesday, 07/15/2009 - Pork rind therapy
Tuesday, 07/14/2009 - I have never...
Monday, 07/13/2009 - My life is complete, because sometimes I'm shallow like that
Thursday, 07/09/2009 - Sleeping in the wet spot is worth it sometimes
Thursday, 07/09/2009 - Eventually I'll be the one who needs pills
Sunday, 07/05/2009 - There's a reason I have my own bedroom
Sunday, 06/28/2009 - "That dog is a gay homosexual"
Sunday, 06/28/2009 - I'm simple, sometimes
Saturday, 06/27/2009 - Semi-appropriate for tonight
Tuesday, 06/23/2009 - Maybe I should stop shopping at Target
Sunday, 06/22/2009 - He must practice on melons or something
Thursday, 06/18/2009 - Hot oil and horror movies
Thursday, 06/11/2009 - Another reason why buttsex is not for the faint of heart
Tuesday, 06/09/2009 - And then James Woods yelled at me
Thursday, 06/04/2009 - Some days I wish I had a flamethrower
Tuesday, 06/02/2009 - 2 good & 2 bad - at least I broke even
Friday, 05/29/2009 - Don't run, you'll only die tired
Saturday, 05/23/2009 - So not politically correct
Thursday, 05/21/2009 - Getting it off my chest before I explode
Thursday, 05/21/2009 - My faith in humanity was restored...and then promptly crapped on
Saturday, 05/16/2009 - Possibly some dick, but there'd have to be a lot of it
Friday, 05/15/2009 - Before Gina Gershon's eyebrows were waxed into submission
Tuesday, 05/12/2009 - Where do I start?
Saturday, 05/02/2009 - Saint's Row, bitches!
Wednesday, 04/22/2009 - I'm already going to hell...might as well enjoy the trip
Tuesday, 04/21/2009 - All's fair in poop and war
Wednesday, 04/15/2009 - It's a plausible alibi, dammit
Tuesday, 04/14/2009 - Jesus would have worn glitter, if Mary Magdalene brought it
Wednesday, 04/08/2009 - Takin' the new cootch for a test drive
Thursday, 04/02/2009 - Through the hydrocodone haze
Monday, 03/30/2009 - Finally! Burn it all!
Friday, 03/27/2009 - Submitted for your approval
Wednesday, 03/25/2009 - I'm not even attempting to explain this hot mess
Monday, 03/23/2009 - Say it with me - vagina!
Sunday, 03/22/2009 - It's like choosing poison or sticking your head in the oven - they're equally crappy
Monday, 03/16/2009 - Ask not for whom the bacon tolls; it tolls for thee
Thursday, 03/12/2009 - What do bloggers read?
Wednesday, 03/11/2009 - I finally got my vagina back and immediately break it again
Thursday, 03/05/2009 - It's official!
Monday, 03/02/2009 - My breasts, they are mashed
Saturday, 02/28/2009 - Some more confessions from a lunatic
Wednesday, 02/25/2009 - Babies and boobies
Tuesday, 02/24/2009 - No wonder she's sick
Sunday, 02/22/2009 - I said a little prayer (to Buddha, but a prayer nonetheless)
Saturday, 02/21/2009 - I'm definitely going to hell
Friday, 02/20/2009 - How 'bout a big ol' glass of "Shut the Fuck Up"?
Thursday, 02/19/2009 - I am sucked in, once again
Thursday, 02/19/2009 - Check out these chompers
Monday, 02/16/2009 - Best. Valentine's. Day. Ever.
Thursday, 02/12/2009 - I smell like a dirty hippie
Monday, 02/09/2009 - Too much of a good thing is sometimes overwhelming
Friday, 02/06/2009 - Isn't a "great personality" a requisite for fat girls?
Thursday, 02/05/2009 - And so the Dental Deities smite the Fat Girl
Wednesday, 02/04/2009 - Of all the mothafuckas on earth, you tha mothafuckest
Wednesday, 02/04/2009 - Confessions of an adult lunatic
Tuesday, 02/03/2009 - I was wrong - I *am* the Vagina Monologue
Monday, 02/02/2009 - I *am* Kung Fu Panda
Monday, 02/02/2009 - Strangling - not just for the spouse anymore
Friday, 01/30/2009 - Barbie takes an ugly turn
Thursday, 01/29/2009 - Is it live or is it Memorex?
Tuesday, 01/27/2009 - ARGH!
Thursday, 01/22/2009 - And this is why I'd never make it as a scientist
Thursday, 01/22/2009 - Keep your laws off my body
Wednesday, 01/21/2009 - ...and I didn't get any damn dip, either!
Wednesday, 01/21/2009 - Barack n' roll
Saturday, 01/17/2009 - A phenomenon that hasn't happened in almost 15 years
Friday, 01/16/2009 - Nose to Poison
Thursday, 01/15/2009 - Sometimes the good guys win one
Tuesday, 01/13/2009 - "My shoes don't say I pound butt!" "No, your shoes say you take it in the butt!"
Monday, 01/12/2009 - You want to cut down on the breakfast drugs
Sunday, 01/11/2009 - I could work at Waffle House except I have all of my teeth
Sunday, 01/11/2009 - Nothing to see here; move along
Friday, 01/09/2009 - A lot of happiness for 6 dollars
Wednesday, 01/07/2009 - So far, so good on the resolutions
Wednesday, 01/07/2009 - Martha Stewart is an evil sorceress
Tuesday, 01/06/2009 - Lump sat alone on a bench in the park
Monday, 01/05/2009 - I'm too stupid for Nintendo...too stupid for Nintendo
Sunday, 01/04/2009 - Wear the good sweaters in 2009
Sunday, 01/04/2009 - Starting the New Year off right
Thursday, 01/01/2009 - 2008 was the year of change
Tuesday, 12/30/2008 - And I wasn't even drinking
Monday, 12/29/2008 - Ben & Jerry, you complete me
Sunday, 12/28/2008 - Post-Xmas retail therapy = cheap
Friday, 12/26/2008 - It's a damn good thing I won't give a cat a beat-down
Thursday, 12/25/2008 - Yeah, yeah, Merry Merry
Wednesday, 12/24/2008 - And karma smiles upon the Fat Girl
Tuesday, 12/23/2008 - Nothin' says "birth of Christ" like the Curse
Sunday, 12/21/2008 - Nothin' says Merry Xmas like gambling
Thursday, 12/18/2008 - Just kill me now
Thursday, 12/18/2008 - The blind leading the stupid
Monday, 12/15/2008 - Irony
Sunday, 12/14/2008 - Laid low by a 3 year old
Saturday, 12/13/2008 - Muskrat love
Thursday, 12/11/2008 - And Merry fuckin' Xmas!
Monday, 12/08/2008 - "Drunken roller derby girls" is not as hot as it sounds
Wednesday, 12/03/2008 - And then Nicolas Cage yelled at me
Tuesday, 12/02/2008 - I have moral objections to slapping around a hooker
Monday, 12/01/2008 - It's Thanksgiving time in hell
Monday, 12/01/2008 - If I mug the Salvation Army bellringer because I need the money, is that bad?
Tuesday, 11/25/2008 - Happy T'Giving! Here's the bird for you.
Friday, 11/21/2008 - Best. Graph. Ever.
Tuesday, 11/18/2008 - I'm gonna go eat worms
Friday, 11/14/2008 - Um, whoops.
Wednesday, 11/12/2008 - This is what happens when I eat donuts before bed
Monday, 11/10/2008 - Crazed deer at 3 o'clock
Friday, 11/07/2008 - Ain't skeered
Wednesday, 11/05/2008 - A little less lovey, a little more condescendey
Tuesday, 11/04/2008 - I did my duty
Monday, 11/03/2008 - WWSD - What Would Satan Do?
Monday, 11/03/2008 - I so need a life
Friday, 10/31/2008 - I would blow him out of sheer gratitude
Wednesday, 10/29/2008 - Just die already and Happy Halloween
Tuesday, 10/28/2008 - Hell only *seems* hot
Sunday, 10/26/2008 - Lesbian in wolf's clothing
Wednesday, 10/22/2008 - Sex with the Strawberry is a full contact sport
Tuesday, 10/21/2008 - It's not PMS; I'm just nuts
Friday, 10/17/2008 - It's not about the seven dollars
Thursday, 10/16/2008 - The deities have smiled upon the Fat Girl
Wednesday, 10/15/2008 - Better than last year, but not by much
Monday, 10/13/2008 - Just a nibble
Tuesday, 10/07/2008 - We're counting down
Saturday, 10/04/2008 - And a good time was had by all
Friday, 10/03/2008 - It's Friday and you know what that means
Wednesday, 10/01/2008 - A week! A week! A week!
Tuesday, 09/30/2008 - When I grow up, I wanna have boobies
Monday, 09/29/2008 - Bullets - not just for the 'hood
Wednesday, 09/24/2008 - Things you shouldn't have to ask every night
Friday, 09/19/2008 - God - 0, Fuck You - 1
Thursday, 09/18/2008 - There's no nice way to say "butt rape"
Wednesday, 09/17/2008 - There's not enough hood porn for my money
Tuesday, 09/16/2008 - My tax dollars at work
Monday, 09/15/2008 - It's hard to be a pimp
Thursday, 09/11/2008 - Hitler and the Legion of Doom are conspiring to assassinate Jesus
Wednesday, 09/10/2008 - The down side of the weekend
Monday, 09/08/2008 - There were dicks and titties flappin' everywhere
Friday, 09/05/2008 - Like a sex shop exploded in my room
Friday, 09/05/2008 - Dyslexic ass whores - untie!
Thursday, 09/04/2008 - Technically, Jesus was a zombie
Wednesday, 09/03/2008 - *oink*sniffle*oink*sniffle
Monday, 09/01/2008 - No wonder my ex-husband was pissed off all the time
Friday, 08/29/2008 - Perverts unite!
Thursday, 08/28/2008 - "Retarded chicken pot pie" is fun to say
Wednesday, 08/27/2008 - Let's visit Imaginationland
Tuesday, 08/26/2008 - Don't touch anything!
Tuesday, 08/26/2008 - Reality check, table 1
Sunday, 08/24/2008 - Ostentatious and gaudy - yet still classy
Saturday, 08/23/2008 - Strangling my husband is good for both of us
Friday, 08/22/2008 - But do I look good?
Wednesday, 08/20/2008 - Second verse, same as the first
Tuesday, 08/19/2008 - Christ, it's early
Sunday, 08/17/2008 - When Salma Hayek showed up, it was time for me to go
Friday, 08/15/2008 - PMS is a *bitch*
Thursday, 08/14/2008 - My face is melting off my head
Wednesday, 08/13/2008 - It smells like strawberry-flavored butt in my room
Tuesday, 08/12/2008 - Not tears of joy
Monday, 08/11/2008 - Tempest in a teapot
Sunday, 08/10/2008 - Hong Kong Goofy - #1 klutzy guy
Friday, 08/08/2008 - When opportunity knocks, go for it, bitches
Wednesday, 08/06/2008 - You win this round, Stephen King
Wednesday, 08/06/2008 - It's like there's a window into my soul and you're looking in it
Wednesday, 08/06/2008 - I only made it through a weekend
Sunday, 08/04/2008 - The worse I treat them, the more they love me
Saturday, 08/02/2008 - My ex-husband's wife was indeed correct
Saturday, 08/02/2008 - Midnight pie run
Thursday, 07/31/2008 - It sounds so snotty when I say it
Thursday, 07/31/2008 - That's right - envy me
Tuesday, 07/29/2008 - I married him for his quick wit
Tuesday, 07/29/2008 - "Shaved man junk" is fun to say
Sunday, 07/27/2008 - My boyfriend's new ride is my girlfriend
Friday, 07/25/2008 - My chiropractor knows I do it doggy-style
Thursday, 07/24/2008 - Scattered to the winds
Wednesday, 07/23/2008 - More Peg Bundy than June Cleaver
Tuesday, 07/22/2008 - I turn to Rick Springfield once again
Sunday, 07/20/2008 - Yeah, she's a keeper
Sunday, 07/20/2008 - 34 is a spectacular age, at least for me
Wednesday, 07/16/2008 - Hell on 4 inch heels
Monday, 07/14/2008 - It's refreshing crack
Sunday, 07/13/2008 - My roller derby name would be "Auntie Maim"
Friday, 07/11/2008 - "I'm not brittle; I'm fragile! There's a difference!"
Friday, 07/11/2008 - Grief, you suck
Thursday, 07/10/2008 - A silver lining
Wednesday, 07/09/2008 - The world is a little less fabulous
Wednesday, 07/09/2008 - It's time to fish or cut bait
Monday, 07/07/2008 - Nothing like a good assbeating to set you straight
Saturday, 07/05/2008 - I'm gonna need a lot of happy to get over the sad
Thursday, 07/03/2008 - Feh.
Monday, 06/30/2008 - Strawberry shortcake
Thursday, 06/26/2008 - I have seen the face of evil...and she shops at Kroger
Thursday, 06/26/2008 - When you're Italian, food *is* love
Tuesday, 06/24/2008 - One from my childhood
Tuesday, 06/24/2008 - Sing it, crackwhore
Monday, 06/23/2008 - I have a concussion from oral sex
Saturday, 06/21/2008 - L&O is my bitch yet again
Friday, 06/20/2008 - I'm on my way to nerdvana
Wednesday, 06/18/2008 - I'm just whining
Sunday, 06/15/2008 - It's not true dysfunctionality until the police are called
Sunday, 06/15/2008 - Alcohol soothes the savage beast
Friday, 06/13/2008 - My ass hates you
Thursday, 06/12/2008 - Back into hell
Tuesday, 06/10/2008 - The Cherry Poppin' Daddies are so gonna break my kneecaps
Monday, 06/09/2008 - I'm a redneck woman...I ain't no high-class broad
Friday, 06/06/2008 - We shall chill no wine before its time
Thursday, 06/05/2008 - It's officially a week
Wednesday, 06/04/2008 - 3 years today!
Monday, 06/02/2008 - Yo quiero depth perception
Saturday, 05/31/2008 - Happy landings!
Saturday, 05/31/2008 - Happy hour was indeed happy
Thursday, 05/29/2008 - Today's the day
Monday, 05/26/2008 - Take that, Law & Order bitches!
Monday, 05/26/2008 - "Jungle rot" is the term of the day
Friday, 05/23/2008 - "Hit me again, Ike, and put some stank on it!"
Wednesday, 05/21/2008 - At least I cop to it, unlike my spouse
Tuesday, 05/20/2008 - Welcome to our home...there's the shitter
Monday, 05/19/2008 - The final countdown
Sunday, 05/18/2008 - August is here already...how 'bout dat?
Monday, 05/13/2008 - There are some days even your lucky poker chip hat can't fix
Thursday, 05/08/2008 - I have rediscovered the joy of Rush
Tuesday, 05/06/2008 - mmmmmmm....gravy
Monday, 05/06/2008 - Walking around, screaming for no good reason
Sunday, 05/05/2008 - All is right with my world again
Friday, 05/03/2008 - Oh, Jesus Tiddlywinks Christ!
Wednesday, 04/30/2008 - There is no "i" in team, but there *is* in "Bitch, you crazy!"
Sunday, 04/27/2008 - Ladies and gentlemen - Pussyliquors!
Thursday, 04/24/2008 - Happiness lives at my house
Monday, 04/22/2008 - Won't need melatonin tonight
Thursday, 04/17/2008 - Admitting it is the first step to getting help
Tuesday, 04/16/2008 - Babblings
Saturday, 04/12/2008 - Be fabulous or go home
Saturday, 04/12/2008 - Only at my house
Thursday, 04/10/2008 - The time has come
Tuesday, 04/08/2008 - Smelly cat, smelly cat
Monday, 04/07/2008 - I shall wash but I shan't be clean
Sunday, 04/06/2008 - Preach on, brother
Friday, 04/04/2008 - A life lesson, albeit a small one
Friday, 04/04/2008 - "How's the hemorrhoid, Kyle?" "Awesome!"
Tuesday, 04/01/2008 - The beginning of the end
Sunday, 03/30/2008 - Black and blue are still the colors of love
Wednesday, 03/26/2008 - Offensive *and* appropriate
Monday, 03/24/2008 - It's already broken
Sunday, 03/23/2008 - Happy Easter indeed!
Sunday, 03/23/2008 - Here comes Peter Cottontail...hoppin' down the bunny trail...
Saturday, 03/22/2008 - He's havin' my baby
Friday, 03/22/2008 - Good Friday indeed!
Thursday, 03/21/2008 - You just reinforced my decision
Wednesday, 03/19/2008 - Easter makes my mother go insane, apparently
Sunday, 03/17/2008 - I don't want to look like Joan Rivers
Saturday, 03/15/2008 - Why I would be booted off Family Feud
Thursday, 03/13/2008 - Don't I deserve love? And porn?
Thursday, 03/13/2008 - Whose house? *MY* house!
Tuesday, 03/11/2008 - Love makes you act like a dumbass
Monday, 03/10/2008 - "Ape shit" is indeed the correct term
Saturday, 03/08/2008 - Tina Turner saved my life
Thursday, 03/06/2008 - Not to see would be a crime
Tuesday, 03/04/2008 - Score!
Tuesday, 03/04/2008 - Respite!
Saturday, 03/02/2008 - Lame! Totally lame!
Tuesday, 02/26/2008 - I just want my porn sluts attractive...is that too much to ask?
Sunday, 02/24/2008 - Insult to injury
Friday, 02/22/2008 - Irony? Am I even using that word right?
Wednesday, 02/20/2008 - I object to having my ass shot off
Tuesday, 02/19/2008 - We're doing this every year
Friday, 02/15/2008 - Another shameful moment
Thursday, 02/14/2008 - It's been a year?!
Wednesday, 02/13/2008 - You're the reason your kids are dysfunctional
Sunday, 02/11/2008 - CSI has officially freaked my shit
Sunday, 02/10/2008 - If a legally blind drag queen can do it, so can you
Friday, 02/08/2008 - That's blind *AND* crippled
Wednesday, 02/06/2008 - I know...I'm repeating myself
Tuesday, 02/05/2008 - TinyE's big adventure, part II
Sunday, 02/03/2008 - They can't hear you, dude
Friday, 02/01/2008 - Being the boss is a downer some days
Wednesday, 01/31/2008 - Hump Day
Tuesday, 01/30/2008 - And throw in some jerk off time, too
Monday, 01/29/2008 - "Fag lust" is fun to say - just ask Phelps
Sunday, 01/27/2008 - The smells of love
Sunday, 01/27/2008 - I'm buying a lottery ticket
Thursday, 01/24/2008 - It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Tuesday, 01/23/2008 - And a side order of everything else
Monday, 01/21/2008 - June Cleaver can suck it
Sunday, 01/21/2008 - Humans 2, squirrels 1; squirrels on the offense
Sunday, 01/20/2008 - You are a crazy bitch
Saturday, 01/19/2008 - Bless our family
Saturday, 01/19/2008 - Cartman never sang this version
Wednesday, 01/16/2008 - Just let me die with dignity, dammit
Tuesday, 01/15/2008 - I mean this in the nicest way possible
Sunday, 01/14/2008 - It's a rash - that's my story and I'm sticking to it
Friday, 01/12/2008 - There's wax involved but it's not the Brazilian kind
Tuesday, 01/08/2008 - If you tip well enough, they'll overlook a lot
Tuesday, 01/08/2008 - Do you know how hard it is to make your Sims catch fire?
Saturday, 01/05/2008 - Jaded much?
Thursday, 01/04/2008 - Yeah, I'm a bad person sometimes...so what?
Thursday, 01/03/2008 - Killing things helps me relax
Tuesday, 01/01/2008 - A fake dick gathers no smegma
Sunday, 12/31/2007 - "I'm sorry your life is so fuckin' empty it can be filled by a diamond"
Wednesday, 12/27/2007 - "Rotten vag" won't be a Febreeze scent any time soon
Tuesday, 12/25/2007 - "Old Yeller" had nothing on this
Tuesday, 12/25/2007 - Nothin' says "Xmas" like lots of bling
Saturday, 12/22/2007 - Is it chocolates? Is it a book?
Tuesday, 12/18/2007 - What a sad way to find out I'm Jewish
Monday, 12/17/2007 - I obviously spoke too soon
Friday, 12/14/2007 - A shot of Vitamin D...for "dick"
Thursday, 12/13/2007 - And the case went well, too
Monday, 12/10/2007 - That's psychic, not psychotic
Friday, 12/08/2007 - Frenchie poo fag nasties
Friday, 12/07/2007 - Cabbage, aisle 4
Tuesday, 12/04/2007 - Yeah, I'm pretty simple
Monday, 12/03/2007 - I hope Fitzwilliam gets his vagina
Thursday, 11/29/2007 - This just in...
Wednesday, 11/28/2007 - My favorite Xmas carol of all time
Monday, 11/26/2007 - $2 miracle
Saturday, 11/24/2007 - 1 little, 2 little, 3 little Rolaids
Wednesday, 11/21/2007 - Things I'm thankful for
Tuesday, 11/20/2007 - Moo for me, bitch
Monday, 11/19/2007 - Does this mean I *finally* get a crown?
Thursday, 11/16/2007 - Maturity? Boredom? Maybe both?
Monday, 11/13/2007 - Alan Alda and Prince...no, I'm not high
Thursday, 11/10/2007 - I am *definitely* going to hell for this
Tuesday, 11/07/2007 - Priorities? Yes, I know what mine are
Monday, 11/06/2007 - I know where love lives
Saturday, 11/03/2007 - Jesus is going to smite me
Thursday, 11/01/2007 - Score one for the freaks and perverts and deviants!!!
Tuesday, 10/30/2007 - Why, yes, I *could* be the boss
Thursday, 10/26/2007 - Where there's smoke, there's a crowd of people with extinguishers
Wednesday, 10/24/2007 - Purple rain, purple rain
Saturday, 10/20/07 - Leave me to my shame
Thursday, 10/18/2007 - Like a butcher shop exploded
Monday, 10/16/2007 - It doesn't have to be Wellington's at Waterloo, but some kind of plan would be nice
Sunday, 10/14/2007 - I like my women just a little on the trashy side
Thursday, 10/11/2007 - Come out of the closet
Wednesday, 10/11/2007 - I think I'll have a shirt made with that on it
Tuesday, 10/10/2007 - The house of cards is coming down
Monday, 10/09/2007 - It's all for a good cause
Friday, 10/05/2007 - You're blocking my jock
Wednesday, 10/04/2007 - Hello Kitty is a bad motherfucker
Monday, 10/02/2007 - Save a tree; eat a beaver
Saturday, 09/29/2007 - A new song that screams "me!"
Wednesday, 09/26/2007 - I'll even answer to "Fat Girl"
Tuesday, 09/25/2007 - Chloe Sevigny made me gay
Monday, 09/24/2007 - Not *that* kind of play date
Friday, 09/22/2007 - Yeah, I'm selfish
Wednesday, 09/19/2007 - Billy Graham lives!!! And Viggo is nekkid!!!
Wednesday, 09/19/2007 - God is trying to tell you something
Monday, 09/17/2007 - It was like being hit by the awesome bus
Thursday, 09/13/2007 - Trashy? Sparkly? Bring it on!
Wednesday, 09/13/2007 - Oprah said "anal sex" on TV
Tuesday, 09/11/2007 - What's green and slimy?
Friday, 09/07/2007 - My eyeballs are imploding
Monday, 09/04/2007 - It's not even a day after the fact yet
Tuesday, 08/28/2007 - We are at Orange Alert...that's Orange Alert
Saturday, 08/25/2007 - I *KNEW* I wasn't paranoid!
Thursday, 08/24/2007 - The power of cock compels you
Wednesday, 08/23/2007 - Nuggets of wisdom...or some such crap
Monday, 08/21/2007 - I hear McDonald's is hiring
Sunday, 08/20/2007 - I'm a sick monkey
Saturday, 08/18/2007 - Filthy! Gorgeous!
Friday, 08/18/2007 - Learned my lesson
Wednesday, 08/16/2007 - Xerxes, Persian king-god by day, drag queen by night
Wednesday, 08/15/2007 - "Fire? I was born of this!"
Monday, 08/14/2007 - I'm still employed...whoo hoo!
Sunday, 08/13/2007 - Crunchy *and* sticky
Friday, 08/11/2007 - Boobies!
Wednesday, 08/08/2007 - It keeps me from snapping, that's what
Monday, 08/06/2007 - "Vagina required" and other fun stuff
Monday, 08/06/2007 - Damn it to hell
Sunday, 08/05/2007 - We're co-dependent and make it work
Saturday, 08/04/2007 - How did they know??!
Thursday, 08/02/2007 - Even a broken clock is right twice a day
Wednesday, 08/02/2007 - I'm a moron, apparently
Wednesday, 08/01/2007 - Here's to education...long may we study
Sunday, 07/30/2007 - But what does Prada say about me as a person?
Thursday, 07/27/2007 - And accurate, too
Wednesday, 07/25/2007 - Thank Gawd I was wearing tight panties
Tuesday, 07/24/2007 - Deliciously boozy
Monday, 07/23/2007 - Good sex and good steak make the world go 'round
Friday, 07/21/2007 - Mostly a good day
Thursday, 07/19/2007 - Hello Kitty rules
Thursday, 07/19/2007 - Another year older, if not wiser
Tuesday, 07/17/2007 - Dude, you're a brave man
Sunday, 07/15/2007 - Dysfunction junction, what's your function?
Friday, 07/14/2007 - Friday the 13th, indeed
Wednesday, 07/11/2007 - Rome wasn't built in a day...
Wednesday, 07/11/2007 - He who hesitates is a damn fool. Thank you, Mae West.
Monday, 07/10/2007 - I'm too tired for anything other than bullets
Thursday, 07/06/2007 - TGIF, almost
Wednesday, 07/04/2007 - Holidays rock
Monday, 07/03/2007 - And another 50 wouldn't hurt
Monday, 07/02/2007 - I just want him to slap me around some
Sunday, 07/02/2007 - Even if you win, you're still retarded
Friday, 06/30/2007 - Yup, it was a crap day
Friday, 06/29/2007 - It's Friday!!!
Wednesday, 06/27/2007 - OK, I'm totally grossed out now, thanks
Tuesday, 06/26/2007 - I hurt myself laughing
Sunday, 06/24/2007 - If you're as wonderful as you think you are...
Thursday, 06/22/2007 - The cure for what ails you (other than dick)
Wednesday, 06/20/2007 - Note to self : Be careful of the Intestine Fairy
Wednesday, 06/20/2007 - The Intestine Fairy comes through
Tuesday, 06/19/2007 - I'll take the green gangrenous guts, please
Tuesday, 06/19/2007 - We all get a practice one
Sunday, 06/17/2007 - ChiChi Macarena lives!
Thursday, 06/15/2007 - Yes, I'm a horrible person
Thursday, 06/14/2007 - On the good side, it's payday
Tuesday, 06/13/2007 - Not enough condoms and penicillin in the world, dude
Tuesday, 06/12/2007 - Jealousy comes in the color of jade...
Sunday, 06/10/2007 - "All Families Matter" would be my theme
Thursday, 06/07/2007 - And monkeys might fly out of my butt, too
Wednesday, 06/06/2007 - Quick and dirty Wednesday
Monday, 06/04/2007 - It's raining men...hallelujah!
Friday, 06/01/2007 - It's go time!
Wednesday, 05/30/2007 - Don't be gay, Sparky
Monday, 05/28/2007 - Tourette's always strikes me in the middle of sex
Sunday, 05/27/2007 - Things you never want to hear
Wednesday, 05/23/2007 - PMS much?
Monday, 05/21/2007 - Either way, it's a fish smell
Friday, 05/19/2007 - What's on your nightstand?
Thursday, 05/17/2007 - Sleeeeeeep...glorious sleep
Tuesday, 05/15/2007 - Ding dong, the witch is dead!
Friday, 05/11/2007 - Do I know how to party, or what?
Thursday, 05/11/2007 - Eat more Cheesy Poofs
Tuesday, 05/08/2007 - I do it all for you bitches
Sunday, 05/06/2007 - A mixed blessing
Friday, 05/05/2007 - Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
Thursday, 05/03/2007 - Forrest Gump was in the hiz-zie today
Thursday, 05/03/2007 - It's payday
Tuesday, 05/02/2007 - The moon is pulling on my uterus
Sunday, 04/29/2007 - A new pink phone to match my pink princess wand
Thursday, 04/26/2007 - I can hate the game *and* the playa
Wednesday, 04/26/2007 - "We're doing it for a *shitload* of money"
Monday, 04/23/2007 - I had moral objections to using live worms
Friday, 04/21/2007 - Maybe I'll die in my sleep
Thursday, 04/20/2007 - Running through my veins
Thursday, 04/19/2007 - It finally happened
Sunday, 04/15/2007 - When it rains, it pours
Thursday, 04/13/2007 - Men forcing other men to suck dick is *hot*
Wednesday, 04/11/2007 - They've played our song 2 days in a row
Tuesday, 04/10/2007 - Are you there, God? It's me, Fat Girl
Monday, 04/09/2007 - The Easter Bunny brought me a nut
Sunday, 04/08/2007 - UNO, bitches!
Friday, 04/06/2007 - Bang bang...she shot me down
Wednesday, 04/04/2007 - 2 weeks are almost up
Tuesday, 04/03/2007 - Yup, my butt still hurts
Monday, 04/02/2007 - My ass *still* hurts
Friday, 03/30/2007 - Road trip!
Wednesday, 03/29/2007 - Why, yes, I *am* stoned
Tuesday, 03/27/2007 - "Eat up with the dumbass" is fun to say
Saturday, 03/24/2007 - I just don't know how to be subtle
Saturday, 03/24/2007 - Al, we're minutes away
Friday, 03/23/2007 - Eureka!
Thursday, 03/23/2007 - I don't know if the equinox is responsible or not
Wednesday, 03/21/2007 - The walls are melting, man
Monday, 03/19/2007 - First things first, but my mom's insane
Tuesday, 03/13/2007 - The speed of love
Monday, 03/13/2007 - I didn't realize my eyebrows were eating the rest of my face
Sunday, 03/12/2007 - Yeah, we're going to hell
Sunday, 03/12/2007 - Not a dry eye in the house
Friday, 03/10/2007 - And I bless the day I met you
Wednesday, 03/08/2007 - Thank you, Ortho-Novum
Tuesday, 03/06/2007 - Why I do what I do, part II
Sunday, 03/04/2007 - And the word of the day is...
Thursday, 03/01/2007 - Gimps on parade
Sunday, 02/25/2007 - Quote of the evening
Friday, 02/24/2007 - Fuck this
Wednesday, 02/21/2007 - White trash is...
Friday, 02/17/2007 - Buttsex is better than Prozac
Thursday, 02/16/2007 - The pros and cons of living with a genius
Thursday, 02/15/2007 - More hands up me than a Muppet
Wednesday, 02/14/2007 - Happy Cupid, bitches
Tuesday, 02/13/2007 - It smells like a fat woman's ass in here
Sunday, 02/11/2007 - Oh, mah gawd! OH, MAH GAWD!!
Sunday, 02/11/2007 - And she's single, too!
Friday, 02/09/2007 - Pussylicious!!!
Thursday, 02/09/2007 - Kotex chafes my butt
Monday, 02/05/2007 - It's a support group, for people addicted to support groups
Wednesday, 01/31/2007 - It's the final countdown
Saturday, 01/27/2007 - I'm psychic! Go show Mom.
Thursday, 01/25/2007 - 2 days in a row!
Tuesday, 01/23/2007 - Ain't no other man but you
Tuesday, 01/23/2007 - I'm falling apart
Monday, 01/22/2007 - Pincushion, part II
Friday, 01/19/2007 - The Human Pincushion...that's me
Monday, 01/15/2007 - McNuggets before bed make for weird dreams
Wednesday, 01/11/2007 - Viva la porn!
Tuesday, 01/10/2007 - "Man drama" is fun to say
Sunday, 01/08/2007 - Corrupt'em while they're young, I say
Friday, 01/05/2007 - A long time coming
Thursday, 01/05/2007 - Well, duh
Thursday, 01/04/2007 - It's that time again
Monday, 01/02/2007 - Hello, Pussy!
Monday, 01/01/2007 - Gypsies, Tramps, & Beans
Sunday, 12/31/2006 - Dead squirrels and a Happy New Year
Tuesday, 12/26/2006 - Insanity...thy name is cannulated hip screw
Monday, 12/25/2006 - Joy to the world!!!
Friday, 12/23/2006 - Nothing says Xmas like banana pudding
Wednesday, 12/21/2006 - Presents rock
Tuesday, 12/19/2006 - A light at the end of the tunnel
Sunday, 12/18/2006 - Christmastime in hell
Thursday, 12/14/2006 - It's tough being popular
Sunday, 12/11/2006 - Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
Saturday, 12/10/2006 - Time wounds all heels...er, heals all wounds
Tuesday, 12/05/2006 - My place in the cyber universe
Monday, 12/04/2006 - Whew
Sunday, 12/03/2006 - I really do like shopping
Thursday, 11/30/2006 - My cat has a panty fetish
Wednesday, 11/29/2006 - Further bulletins as events warrant
Saturday, 11/25/2006 - For everything else...there's buttsex
Thursday, 11/23/2006 - Blessings all around
Tuesday, 11/21/2006 - A letter to a plum
Monday, 11/21/2006 - Christmas trees and pie
Sunday, 11/19/2006 - Spanksgiving! Be thankful!
Wednesday, 11/15/2006 - Eat a big booger, Chicken Little
Tuesday, 11/15/2006 - This deserved an entry all by itself
Tuesday, 11/14/2006 - The sky is not falling...shaddup
Wednesday, 11/08/2006 - Back on track
Monday, 11/06/2006 - Bad poetry is still bad poetry, no matter who writes it
Sunday, 11/06/2006 - I love Christian Bale but his movie sucked
Wednesday, 11/02/2006 - Code Brown! Code Brown!
Tuesday, 11/01/2006 - Happy Halloween!
Sunday, 10/30/2006 - The Exorcist and family values
Friday, 10/27/2006 - Kicking ass, one day at a time
Wednesday, 10/26/2006 - Straight but not narrow
Sunday, 10/23/2006 - Rita Mae Brown kicks all kinds of ass
Sunday, 10/22/2006 - I'd like roses for a lot longer than 3 years
Saturday, 10/21/2006 - To tempt angels to fall...
Friday, 10/20/2006 - Give till it hurts, bitches
Thursday, 10/19/2006 - *yawn*
Tuesday, 10/17/2006 - A job well done
Monday, 10/16/2006 - An entry that's not *all* about me
Saturday, 10/14/2006 - Kick ass!
Saturday, 10/14/2006 - Get down!
Thursday, 10/12/2006 - Tomorrow's the day!
Sunday, 10/08/2006 - Happiness is...
Saturday, 10/07/2006 - Yeah, I'm a perv. Duh.
Friday, 10/06/2006 - You gotta chase yer dreams, baby
Thursday, 10/05/2006 - I *told* you I didn't do it
Monday, 10/02/2006 - That went out with 3rd grade
Monday, 10/02/2006 - History repeats itself
Monday, 10/02/2006 - Hey, sandman, sleepy dust, now!
Friday, 09/29/2006 - Go, rookies!
Wednesday, 09/27/2006 - And the hits just keep on comin'
Tuesday, 09/26/2006 - Depressing and disturbing - fair warning
Sunday, 09/24/2006 - There's not much a doughnut can't fix
Thursday, 09/21/2006 - I'm in distinguished company, at least
Thursday, 09/21/2006 - One of my favorite names
Tuesday, 09/19/2006 - Can't complain
Monday, 09/18/2006 - We've all had one of these
Monday, 09/18/2006 - Will there be sand involved?
Sunday, 09/17/2006 - Deliver me from drama
Saturday, 09/16/2006 - *sigh* I'd fuck me if I ever found another me
Friday, 09/15/2006 - Brace yourself, Gertrude
Tuesday, 09/12/2006 - I said I was sorry, dammit
Tuesday, 09/12/2006 - All the shit from Thursday til right now
Wednesday, 09/06/2006 - Check list for today
Tuesday, 09/05/2006 - Why I do what I do
Monday, 09/05/2006 - The French (toast) Connection
Monday, 09/04/2006 - If you make change out of the stripper's G-string, is that tacky?
Thursday, 09/01/2006 - All you short, fat, dumpy, white bitches look alike
Wednesday, 08/31/2006 - Awwwwwwww
Tuesday, 08/29/2006 - Part of the team
Sunday, 08/27/2006 - Sha-zam!
Sunday, 08/27/2006 - Thank you again, Dr. J**, for tying my tubes
Friday, 08/25/2006 - Yay! It's Friday!
Wednesday, 08/24/2006 - Pass the Prozac
Tuesday, 08/22/2006 - Finally, my place in the universe
Monday, 08/21/2006 - Yeah, I'm a lady of the evening, er, evening shift
Thursday, 08/17/2006 - It's deja vu, all over again!
Tuesday, 08/15/2006 - In a nutshell
Monday, 08/14/2006 - I look like Alfalfa in my ID picture
Sunday, 08/13/2006 - This flight is carry-on only, and you're just way too much luggage
Thursday, 08/10/2006 - Nothing to see here...move along, please
Sunday, 08/06/2006 - Get your Munch on!
Wednesday, 08/02/2006 - Spankings (birthday and otherwise) for all!
Tuesday, 08/01/2006 - No neurotics need apply
Thursday, 07/27/2006 - A jobby job
Wednesday, 07/26/2006 - A breath of fresh ass
Tuesday, 07/25/2006 - Again, no one is surprised
Monday, 07/24/2006 - Welcome to the real world
Friday, 07/21/2006 - A little more birthday celebrating...
Wednesday, 07/19/2006 - Happy Birfday!
Monday, 07/17/2006 - My mother wasn't kidding...
Monday, 07/17/2006 - "I don't know nothing about birthin' no babies"
Wednesday, 07/12/2006 - Who wants to touch me?!
Wednesday, 07/12/2006 - Dish it, sister
Tuesday, 07/11/2006 - Dammit.
Friday, 07/07/2006 - *sigh*
Thursday, 07/06/2006 - Cynic, party of 1
Wednesday, 07/05/2006 - Fireworks!
Wednesday, 07/05/2006 - "Negative...I am a meat popsicle"
Saturday, 07/01/2006 - Just making sure
Wednesday, 06/28/2006 - Lunatic ramblings...yup, it's a Wednesday
Tuesday, 06/27/2006 - A little cheese, a little whine
Monday, 06/26/2006 - Smells like sex up in here
Thursday, 06/22/2006 - The ol' karma wheel turns round and round...
Wednesday, 06/21/2006 - I'm a heart-stopper...no, seriously
Tuesday, 06/20/2006 - No, thank you, I'll just wait outside
Sunday, 06/18/2006 - Calvin and Hobbes said it best
Thursday, 06/15/2006 - "Big-ass banana pudding" is fun to say
Tuesday, 06/13/2006 - I gave in to the dark side
Monday, 06/12/2006 - Let it rain
Thursday, 06/08/2006 - Goddamn, I hate most of the people I work with
Wednesday, 06/07/2006 - Did I say "good sign"? I meant "Oh, fuck you"
Wednesday, 06/07/2006 - You're asking me?
Monday, 06/05/2006 - Time is on my side
Sunday, 06/04/2006 - Whoo hoo! A whole year!
Friday, 06/02/2006 - Show us your rainbow!
Wednesday, 05/31/2006 - Today was great which means...
Tuesday, 05/30/2006 - I'm sorry...are we interrupting you?
Monday, 05/29/2006 - I am reborn
Saturday, 05/27/2006 - Bloated sac of protoplasm
Friday, 05/26/2006 - Life is too short to dance with ugly men
Wednesday, 05/24/2006 - How Stella got her groove back
Tuesday, 05/23/2006 - Don't sign me up for that, thanks
Monday, 05/22/2006 - The men I chose
Monday, 05/22/2006 - "'Yellow' works; you don't have to break my shit!"
Sunday, 05/21/2006 - I'm "in", oh yeah
Thursday, 05/18/2006 - Goodbye, Twatland
Tuesday, 05/16/2006 - An entire week went by?
Wednesday, 05/10/2006 - Hilarious!
Tuesday, 05/09/2006 - Patience, Grasshopper
Monday, 05/08/2006 - 7 hours of my life I can't get back
Sunday, 05/07/2006 - Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and now
Wednesday, 05/03/2006 - Grace under pressure
Monday, 05/01/2006 - "You don't frame a Monet at K-Mart"
Friday, 04/28/2006 - Low man on the totem pole sucks wide
Thursday, 04/27/2006 - Yell at me...I like it
Wednesday, 04/26/2006 - It's "twat and knee" day!
Tuesday, 04/25/2006 - We fought the good fight
Monday, 04/24/2006 - Boom, baby!
Sunday, 04/23/2006 - Stay on your meds
Friday, 04/21/2006 - Liquid valium...where is thy sting
Thursday, 04/20/2006 - Yeah, I'm an older woman freak
Wednesday, 04/19/2006 - Well, crap
Wednesday, 04/19/2006 - "Asshattery" is fun to say
Tuesday, 04/18/2006 - Rabblerouser!
Tuesday, 04/18/2006 - A love bizarre
Monday, 04/18/2006 - Drunk gay men are a pain in the ass...hah
Saturday, 04/15/2006 - OK, Easter also means hope
Thursday, 04/13/2006 - Goddamn, you suck, Pip
Wednesday, 04/12/2006 - The Boy is my Andy Gibb
Wednesday, 04/12/2006 - Brace yourself, Gertrude
Tuesday, 04/11/2006 - Getting naked for a good cause
Tuesday, 04/11/2006 - Easter means one thing and one thing only
Monday, 04/10/2006 - Snatchtastic!
Thursday, 04/06/2006 - Down memory lane
Wednesday, 04/05/2006 - You want *more* money?!
Tuesday, 04/04/2006 - Goodie!
Monday, 04/03/2006 - Not only am I a snot, I'm a nerd, too
Friday, 03/31/2006 - The real deal
Friday, 03/31/2006 - I'm not arrogant...I'm just a whole lot better than you
Wednesday, 03/29/2006 - Picasso never had this much trouble
Tuesday, 03/28/2006 - Carpe Dumb - Seize the Stupid
Tuesday, 03/28/2006 - Hear that? That's the sound of him not being here
Sunday, 03/26/2006 - Love is in the air
Thursday, 03/23/2006 - Goin' to the chapel...
Thursday, 03/23/2006 - It's coming around
Wednesday, 03/22/2006 - U stink but I (heart) U
Tuesday, 03/21/2006 - I'm a scrub nerd
Monday, 03/20/2006 - Stick it in your ear
Friday, 03/17/2006 - You got some ick on your ear, there
Thursday, 03/16/2006 - Don't be a wuss!
Wednesday, 03/15/2006 - L-O-S-E-R
Wednesday, 03/15/2006 - "Impaction" is the word of the day
Sunday, 03/12/2006 - It's 9000 degrees
Thursday, 03/09/2006 - Tell me how you really feel
Thursday, 03/09/2006 - "He doesn't know a rain forest from a pop tart!"
Tuesday, 03/07/2006 - Got dick?
Monday, 03/06/2006 - Mr. Fattypants!
Monday, 03/06/2006 - Dude, you're harshing my mellow
Monday, 03/06/2006 - Burp in the universe
Sunday, 03/05/2006 - Kleenex? Don't mind if I do!
Friday, 03/03/2006 - Citrus fruit...tragic
Wednesday, 03/01/2006 - Deliver me from assholes. Amen.
Tuesday, 02/28/2006 - I have the*best* husband in the world
Monday, 02/27/2006 - I told you I was Satan's Onion
Monday, 02/27/2006 - Cry for Daddy, bitch!
Monday, 02/27/2006 - One thing I'm proud of...and I can't tell anyone
Thursday, 02/23/2006 - She works hard for the grade...so hard for it, honey
Tuesday, 02/21/2006 - La la la la la...it goes around the world
Monday, 02/20/2006 - So much for that theory, Whiny McWhinepants
Monday, 02/20/2006 - And then Trent Reznor dressed me up as a clown
Sunday, 02/19/2006 - If it weren't for bad luck...aw, goddamnit
Thursday, 02/16/2006 - Random Thursday thoughts
Thursday, 02/16/2006 - I think I'm insulted but I'm not sure
Thursday, 02/16/2006 - There goes my average
Wednesday, 02/15/2006 - Got your name carved on my soul
Wednesday, 02/15/2006 - I have seen insanity...
Tuesday, 02/14/2006 - St. Valentine was never this cheap and trashy
Monday, 02/13/2006 - That's bad, Gir!
Monday, 02/13/2006 - 16 is my new lucky number...'cause I'm a painslut
Wednesday, 02/08/2006 - I kick all kinds of ass
Monday, 02/06/2006 - Red wagons...calling all little red wagons
Friday, 02/03/2006 - Gratiot? Dequindre? The hell?
Thursday, 02/02/2006 - Random Thursday blah-blah
Wednesday, 02/01/2006 - My country scares me
Tuesday, 01/31/2006 - If you're late, you *always* get a bad seat
Monday, 01/30/2006 - 14 is my new lucky number
Thursday, 01/26/2006 - Random Thursday thoughts
Wednesday, 01/25/2006 - Oh, thank you, deities
Tuesday, 01/24/2006 - Raindrops keep fallin' on my cat...
Monday, 01/23/2006 - It's a Monday all over
Sunday, 01/22/2006 - What the hell?!
Thursday, 01/19/2006 - Random Thursday thoughts
Wednesday, 01/18/2006 - Missin' the Boy
Tuesday, 01/17/2006 - Quit for me, too, dude
Sunday, 01/15/2006 - Dude, get well already
Thursday, 01/12/2006 - Dick...it's good for what ails you
Thursday, 01/12/2006 - Butt drama, school drama
Wednesday, 01/11/2006 - Whiner, party of 1, your table is ready
Tuesday, 01/10/2006 - "Do the Monkey with me! Man, I'm pretty!"
Tuesday, 01/10/2006 - "Ass cancer" is funny to say...'cause I'm 12
Monday, 01/09/2006 - Sweaty fuck flesh
Saturday, 01/07/2006 - Hooker shoes and Munches
Friday, 01/06/2006 - Lightbulb at 31
Thursday, 01/05/2006 - Krakatoa!
Wednesday, 01/04/2006 - Hump Day!
Tuesday, 01/03/2006 - Would you believe it's only Tuesday?
Tuesday, 01/03/2006 - Spiritual creaminess
Monday, 01/02/2006 - Let the bodies hit the floor
Monday, 01/02/2006 - My answer to the Boy's question
Sunday, 01/01/2006 - Happy New Year!
Saturday, 12/31/2005 - Pre-NYE happiness
Friday, 12/30/2005 - "Shopping eases my nerves"
Friday, 12/30/2005 - 4 hours later than predicted
Friday, 12/30/2005 - I'm a trendy yuppie whore
Thursday, 12/29/2005 - Random Thursday thoughts
Thursday, 12/29/2005 - Gettin' high off fabric softener
Wednesday, 12/28/2005 - A ginger niblet
Monday, 12/27/2005 - Post-Christmas goodness
Sunday, 12/25/2005 - Merry Christmas!!!
Saturday, 12/24/2005 - Xmas at my mother's in 12 words or less
Friday, 12/23/2005 - Do crazy people know they're crazy?
Friday, 12/23/2005 - Tis the season...to shake your holly jolly booty
Thursday, 12/22/2005 - Blatantly stolen from another blog
Thursday, 12/22/2005 - You drive me crazy...no, really
Thursday, 12/22/2005 - You drive me crazy...but it feels alright
Wednesday, 12/21/2005 - The snark that refreshes!
Wednesday, 12/21/2005 - Things that make you go "Hrmmmmm!"
Tuesday, 12/20/2005 - Free your mind!
Tuesday, 12/20/2005 - Stick this big hooba-jube up your butt!
Tuesday, 12/20/2005 - Nashvegas!
Sunday, 12/18/2005 - I just found him...
Friday, 12/16/2005 - Schoolhouse Jingle Bell Rock
Thursday, 12/15/2005 - A totally foreign concept
Tuesday, 12/13/2005 - Twats rock
Tuesday, 12/13/2005 - When you're in a hole, stop digging
Monday, 12/12/2005 - Happy little tater tots
Sunday, 12/11/2005 - The fire is so delightful...
Friday, 12/09/2005 - Demon lover
Friday, 12/09/2005 - 8 seconds
Thursday, 12/08/2005 - I must be losing my marbles
Wednesday, 12/07/2005 - Pondering life's mysteries
Tuesday, 12/06/2005 - We are family...everybody sing!
Monday, 12/05/2005 - Hepatitis and head colds
Monday, 12/05/2005 - Frickin' mess
Sunday, 12/04/2005 - Out with the old, in with the new
Tuesday, 11/29/2005 - I am Satan's Onion!
Friday, 4/22/2005 - In your eyes
Monday, 2/17/2005 - In love with the Boy
2004-10-07 - Testing