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Friday, 01/15/2010 - 6:07 a.m.

The entire free world knows what an NCIS/Mark Harmon whore I am and as such I've been on a movie kick here lately. OMG - the man has done some total crap. Since I like to imagine how these people get roped into doing these things *and* I've had a LOT of Nyquil, I'm betting it went something like this:

Mark Harmon's agent: So, no one really knows who you are yet. I'm trying, I swear.

Mark Harmon: But I'm really good-looking. *Someone* must want me to do something. I do beer commercials, for God sakes. And you know how debasing that's gonna be in 20 years.

MHA: I'm trying. Give me a damn break.

MH: Well, do you think I could hook?

MHA: The hell?

MH: You know, hook. There is some woman somewhere who would pay to sleep with me, right?

MHA: Jesus. Hang on to your dignity for a little while longer, dude. This came across my desk today but I don't think it's for you.

MH: {flipping through the script, undoubtedly written in crayon on construction paper} Why the hell not?

MHA: First off, it's set in the desert and it's about Bedouins. You're a native Californian.

MH: A desert somewhere, California, it's all sand, right?

MHA: {rolls eyes} Secondly, they are dark-skinned people with dark hair and dark eyes and you are an extremely white man with big blue eyes.

MH: So? A paycheck is a paycheck, right? Sign me up!

MHA: Are you fucking kidding me?

MH: Not at all! I'm a helluva actor - I can pull this off. This will be the springboard of my career. I can feel it! I will be a household name after this.

MHA: There goes your dignity.

I blame the Nyquil completely. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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