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Sunday, 05/27/2007 - 5:51 p.m.

Things you do not want to hear from your almost 60 year old 4 foot 10 tiny mama:

"Well, I went looking for my sledgehammer and couldn't find it, so I got the axe and it worked just as well."

"I can't find my chainsaw. I don't remember where I left it."

"If the pitch of that damned roof was different, I'd be up there myself putting a new roof on that bitch."

"I pulled on that dead branch as hard as I could and then ran like hell."

I know she can do the physical stuff and *none* of it intimidates her. I'm terrified, though, since she's all alone. I had visions of the chainsaw whipping back on her and her bleeding to death before someone could get to her. And gawd knows she won't call any of us to come help because she wants to do it all by herself. That's my independent mama.

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