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Monday, 09/21/2009 - 4:05 p.m.

Things I learned today:

You can indeed vacuum a linoleum floor if you try hard enough.

When you say to yourself upon spying the Skittles Crazy Cores candy happiness, "Finally they carry my candy! Give to the Fat Girl!", someone will hear you.

When talking to a smokin' hot dude with a British accent, you're guaranteed to have a hot flash. Observe -

Smokin' hot dude with British accent: Are you sure it's OK if I go ahead of you?
Me: Certainly.
SHDWBA: Thank you so much. We have a teething baby at home and cannot find any of the pacifiers. {pause} Miss, are you OK?
Me: {sweat popping out on my forehead, upper lip, and chin} Yup, just having a massive hot flash.
SHDWBA: {turns away without another word}

Screaming "Crap crappity crap crap crap!!!" in the police station will not endear you to the police. I tried to pay a ticket DC got a week ago at the closest police station but you can no longer pay tickets there.

Anything your spouse will not let you do (climb ladders, lift heavy boxes) is best done when the spouse is at work.

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