Friday, 12/25/2009 - 2:38 a.m.

So let's see...

Last Tuesday the 15th I stood up from my desk chair and my blown knee buckled. I went down shrieking. Awesome. It's been 6 fuckin' years since I fell down the stairs and the damn thing goes out right before Xmas this year. I have no idea what I did to make it give and I had to drag out the Robo-Leg to wear for a couple/three days. It finally started feeling better a couple of days ago but it's still not right so I'll be calling my ortho guy for the new year. Yippee.

That same night the White Booger had a seizure in the floor right by my desk chair. The ER vet (to the tune of $650) said she had syncope, which is fainting due to lack of oxygen due to the heart not working properly. Our regular vet, after performing a $300 EKG on the fuckin' cat, said her heart was fine (no syncope) and she did indeed have a seizure. She also said the White Booger's kidneys were in great shape and had not gotten any worse since we got the news a year and a half ago she was in renal failure. I explained that our usual vet at that office told us at that visit this was it - the White Booger was going to die and to get ready for it. She put it nicer than that, of course, but that was the gist of it. Apparently that's not the case. So we've been on Death Watch for damn near 2 years for nothing.

So for most of last week I popped Aleve, cried, watched the White Booger like a hawk, and stayed in bed with the first season of NCIS. And cried. And was depressed. I didn't do dishes, laundry, vacuum, make dinner - nothing. I forgot how truly terrible it was to be a gimp. Feh.

I was working the door at the club on Saturday so I sacked up and got tarted up just like I wasn't depressed. The Bird Kid and his woman were having problems so I said c'mon on down to the club and we'll do snuggles and talk about it. Well, PJ came, too, and he and I ended up playing for about an hour first. I started out as the top and he was most definitely the bottom but *ahem* he literally flipped me over and I let him. I knew he topped but I'd never seen him top anyone so I didn't really know how good he was. Holy crap. I am still bruised and beat up...hee. It was all biting and hands and hairpulling and it was goddamned *good*. I didn't have permission from either DC or the Boy, which is why I was sure I'd be in trouble, at least with the Boy. I try to keep the Boy informed and ask permission as needed but even as much I plan things to death, I can't cover everything. I didn't plan on playing so *WELL* with Mal or bottoming to the Bird Kid or letting PJ flip me - it all just happens. And being the whore I am, I just roll with it.

The Dysfunctional Family Xmas was Sunday and I hadn't done any shopping before I gimped up. So DC and I made a mad limping dash for gift cards on Thursday night and got everyone on that side of the family done in one fell swoop. Thank you, Kroger, for selling gift cards to almost everywhere in the known universe. The DFX was actually less dysfunctional this year than previous years. Everyone got to meet Michael, Lady A's fiancee, and he got a real close look at what kind of insanity he was marrying into. My father and stepmother did not fight at all as far as I know, and my sister only called my stepmother "stupid" once, as far as I know. Very tame compared to previous years.

On Monday I took the Queen grocery shopping for Xmas dinner stuff. This trip went much better than the T'Giving trip. She was very calm and laid-back and we had a ball. I helped her put up her Xmas tree with Elvis in the background and we decorated that joker within an inch of its life. And sang and talked and laughed our asses off.

On Tuesday, DC and I went shopping for the Boy and the Queen and it was really easy. We hit one store that had everything we were looking for - in, out, and done in about an hour. When the Boy got into town later on, he and I went back out to get a few more things for the Queen and it was also easy.

We did Xmas with the Queen Wednesday evening and the Bird Kid came with us. OMG! I got his Xmas stuff weeks ago and almost blabbed about it. Duh. We ate and ate and ate, and drank a shitload of alcohol. I had more alcohol than I've had in the past 3 months and it was quite tasty - Bailey's + butterscotch schnapps = Buttery Nipples. The Bird Kid kicked all our asses at Uno and the Queen at one point asked "OK, who brought the Kraut man?". We laughed and drank and laughed some more. Even Tattoo got to laughing so hard a couple of times he choked. Hee.

The Boy left for home today and DC and I vegged out. DC played his Xmas present from me, Left 4 Dead 2, until it pissed him off and I pulled out my fave, Saint's Row 2. We've eaten all the Xmas leftovers so I have no idea what we'll do for Xmas dinner later on today.

It's the wee hours on Xmas morning and there is absolutely nothing Santa Claus could bring me that I don't already have.

Merry Christmas, bitches.

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