Wednesday, 11/12/2008 - 1:13 p.m.

I have the most bizarre dreams after I eat certain things and then go immediately to bed.

I dreamed that there was a huge eco-friendly mall that, instead of cutting down trees to make room for the mall, actually built the mall up around the trees. So it's a giant 8 or 10 story mega-mall with trees sticking out at odd places. To get in it, you had to ride a tram almost straight up to the top of the mall and then dock in a big-ass hollowed-out tree trunk. Don't ask me why there was not a ground floor entrance - I do not know. If you'd never been to this mall before you knew you had to ride the tram up but you couldn't see where it docked. There was a little girl about 6 or so crying on the sidewalk because her mom was already in the mall and she was terrified to ride the tram by herself. A group of women, me included, were on the sidewalk too, waiting for the tram to come back down. I said "It's OK, sweetheart, you can ride up with us" and she sat in my lap during the ride up. My best friend from high school sat in the bench seat behind us, talking about what a great time we were going to have at the party we were going to later that night. The little girl immediately said "A party? Can I come?" and we said no (since the party in question was a women-only sex-and-BDSM party but we didn't tell her that) and told her there wouldn't be anyone there that she knew. She said "But I know lots of people! Susie and Sally! And PunchMe and Kick-My-Own-Ass!" I said, "Sweetie, you know people named "PunchMe" and "Kick-My-Own-Ass"?!

Alrighty - let's analyze this bullshit.

Mall - To dream that you are at the mall, represents your attempts in making a favorable impression on someone. The mall is also symbolic of materialism and the need to keep up with the trends, fads, and/or the latest technology.

Children - To see children in your dream, signifies your own childlike qualities or a retreat back to a childlike state. It is an extension of your inner child during a time of innocence, purity, simplicity, and a carefree attitude. You may be longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. The loss of a child, signifies fallen hopes or a project. To save a child, signifies your attempts to save a part of yourself from being destroyed. If you dream that you are separated from your children, then it symbolizes failure in some personal endeavor or a setback in some ideal you had.

Tree Trunk - To see the trunk of a tree, signifies your inner sense of well being and personality. If the trunk is thick and large, then it denotes that you are a strong, rugged and durable person. If the trunk is thin and narrow, then it suggests that you are a highly sensitive person.

There was no interpretation for the name "Kick-My-Own-Ass".

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