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Thursday, 02/05/2009 - 8:57 p.m.

The first time I broke a tooth bad enough to require a root canal and a crown was on Easter weekend many years ago. The shards of broken tooth shredded my tongue and cheek and I thought I was going to lose my mind until it was fixed.

The next time I broke a tooth it broke off completely above the gum line except for one little needle-like piece that had the nerve in it. Dr. Hottie said she was surprised I wasn't screaming with pain since the nerve was so close to the surface. The tooth got a root canal and a crown and the tooth next to it also got a crown since the fillings in it were so old some fell out while she was drilling the broken one. Awesome.

The next time I broke a tooth I was still working at the big M and it was bad enough it needed a crown, too. It needed 5 (!!!) molds cast before Dr. Hottie got one that was usable.

The Dental Deities have once again crapped on my head. The tooth that broke off at the gum line just broke again. Since there was nothing above the gum line to anchor the crown to, Dr. Hottie built up a base of gold and something (I have no idea what the "something" is) and then anchored the crown in it. The crown itself is fine - it's whole and I managed not to swallow it. That gold base stuff, however, won't ever be right again. A big chunk is stil firmly lodged in my gum and a big chunk is firmly lodged in the crown. I hope to Christ she can drill that gold base crap out without ruining the crown. And of course it happens at night, on the beginning of a weekend. Her office is only open 4 hours tomorrow and just because it's not hurting now doesn't mean it will stay that way til Monday.

If I had a tube of Super Glue handy, I'd glue that joker back in and not tell anyone.

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