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Monday, 10/03/2011 - 9:56 p.m.

And the next stop on the Crazytown Bus will be Narcissism Village.

Population: me.

Please do not bring any baggage because I have plenty for everyone.

I feel like such a dipshit twerp saying "baggage" because every whiny I'm-a-beautiful-and-unique-snowflake buttmunch says that when their relationships fail, they get fired, drink too much too often, etc. Feh.

I finally made somewhat of a connection yesterday in the shower regarding my past year or so's insanity. Not a month has gone by since June of 2010 where some kind of shit (good, bad, or otherwise) has not happened:

July - DC's mama died on the morning of LadyA's bridal shower and it took 4 tries to get him on a plane that would actually fly. The Boy and Nigel got to meet face-to-face. I took Nigel's virginity on my 36th birthday. I spent the rest of July and a week of August with DC in D.C., helping him clean and pack up his mother's stuff and crying.

August - LadyA's bacholerette party was one weekend and her wedding the following weekend. The matron of honor was not quite as gracious under pressure as she could have been, but I think I did alright.

September - Nigel took me home to meet his parents, LadyA found out she was pregnant, and I had my 2nd sinus/ear infection combo for the year.

October - just a giant blur. DC and Nigel both had birthdays, I almost completely forgot my and the Boy's anniversary, I was sewing Halloween costumes like a mad fiend, and screened approximately 40 people for the club for the Black Ball. And half of those fuckers who "absolutely had to get screened for the ball or they'd die" didn't even attend. DC and I *thought* we found out how far in debt my mother was and agreed to pay her house note for all of 2011.

November - the Thanksgiving grocery shopping trip from hell, I broke up with the Boy, DC and I found out a little bit more about my mother's debt situation and realized she'd been lying to us. Nigel's sister also went into labor a month early and was left in hard labor for over 24 hours by a midwife who was convinced that if Nigel's sister just pushed harder, Sugarbean would come out eventually. Sugarbean, who had several major birth defects, was not expected to live and we were all on pins and needles for 3 weeks or so, waiting.

December - had my 3rd sinus/ear infection combo for the year, we found out exactly how far in debt my mother is, and that she'd been lying to us for all of 2010. I also could finally see that I was indeed losing weight. Nigel and I put up his family Xmas tree since his parents were still gone to see his sister and the baby and had a ball. I got my first ever subpoena to appear in court.

January - I threatened to slap my mother early in the month over all the lying she'd been doing That set the tone for the rest of the month - I didn't speak to her (DC did, though, when necessary) and I didn't go see her at all after the first week. I still wasn't speaking to her well into February.

February- Nigel's sister, brother-in-law, and Sugarbean came in for a week, which also happened to be the week when we got all that damn snow. 7 adults and 1 special needs baby snowed in for 3 days out in Podunk. At least we didn't lose power. His sister and I got along really really well and Nigel and I both fell in love with that baby. I also met most of his relatives - I said to him then that my being married was not even going to cause a blip on the radar, compared to the rest of the freakshow.

March - Nigel got his first big-boy job ever and did not handle it any kind of well. (He's handling it better now but he still gets depressed on Sunday nights.)

April - Nigel and I went to his parents' for Easter, which was fun.

May - is also a blur. The rains from hell came and the Mississippi (and other smaller rivers) flooded everyone in about 8 states.

June - our 6th wedding anniversary came and went. DC and I both knew *something* was wrong between us and neither of us really wanted to deal with it because we were trying to find a house. We did have the "Before we commit ourselves to a house, do you want to get divorced?" talk, though. LadyA had a teeny tiny healthy little girl, who looks like a dolly.

July - I turned 37, we closed on the house, I spent 70% of my free time packing or cleaning. The other 30% I spent crying, fighting, fucking, or playing video games. I had the murderous neon moment as well and told DC if I had anywhere else to go, I'd leave him.

So, yeah. I'd say I had a very stressful past year.

I also slacked off on the blogging. I did not realize until a couple of days ago how therapeutic the self-centered spewing of random crap *is*. I felt guilty for blogging about petty crap when some serious other shit was going on. I didn't really have anyone I could talk to about all of the shit, either, seeing as how I don't trust my mother any further than I can throw her. DC and Nigel were part of my problems so I stopped talking to them about how much I wanted them both to just shut the fuck up and stay the hell out of my way because that only aggravated the situation. Why is it the more you want to be left alone, the more they want to hang all over you?

Things have improved muchly, though, the past couple of months. The new furniture is here and looks fabulous, from what we can see through the industrial plastic. I told the furniture people to keep it all wrapped up because it was all going to be shoved out of the way against a wall. There's still only a path through the living room because of all the boxes I still need to unpack so the furniture can't go where it's supposed to go.

My computer has only been up and running for a couple of weeks as well and Nigel's is still down. So I'm massively behind on email and club bizness but I'm refusing to stress over any of it.

The dining room table is set up and looks great - I have place mats and a centerpiece and it looks like civilized people live here. Only 2 dining room chairs have slipcovers at the moment because the other 2 chairs are so oversized I'll have to find special slipcovers for them. It's my own damn fault for not measuring them all but holy crap, it's a set of 4 of the same chair - they should all be the same size, right?

I've started sewing (and I use that word loosely) on some of my clothes, trying to take in waists and busts and armholes. I've been doing it by hand but I think I'm going to just have to sack up and get a real sewing machine. I had a little bitty one that I managed to burn up last year during the Halloween costume madness. I found an old Brother one in the storage unit when we moved and neither DC nor I know where it came from. I *do* know that it's as broke as the Ten Commandments, though. I may be too stupid to operate it but at this point, after the massive rat's nests it's left on everything I've tried to run through it, I'm leaning towards broken.

I had a weight-loss check-up today and my blood pressure was 116 over 74. Since it has usually been running about 145 over 95 since June of last year, I'd say I'm a lot less stressed than I used to be.

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