Friday, 12/30/2005 - 8:00 p.m.

DC just called me to tell me that he's not coming home tonight because he didn't know they had another night booked at the hotel. I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit I had a meltdown. Partly in anger because he knew at 2 pm today he wasn't coming home (instead of coming home late tonight as originally planned) and just *now* called to tell me. We will have to take separate cars to the Boy's tomorrow and since we have to do that I could have conceivably already been at the Boy's. The only reason I stayed here instead of going to the Boy's was because DC was coming home tonight.

I mostly melted down because I miss him. I'm disappointed as hell that he's not coming home and I *miss* him. I got ugly with him on the phone because I didn't want to admit I was really really *really* looking forward to him coming home and to admit you need someone else that much is weak. It's sad and pathetic and weak. I admitted it, though, and cried while I told him. I told him how much I miss him and how I've been waiting all day to see him. And cried some more about how pathetic and clingy I sounded. He's been gone 3 days, not 3 years, dammit. Feh.

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