Thursday, 04/13/2006 - 7:47 p.m.

It's official...I suck totally at this surgical tech thing. My checkoff was today and I almost made an A. I corrected most of my mistakes from the last checkoff, only to make new ones. Yippie. I dressed the Mayo beautifully but forgot to put any kind of forceps on it. I forgot to set 2 stepstools up so I had to keep stepping up and down to the back table. I opened everything right on the money, except my syringe and hypos. Those bitches leaped right out of their damn peel packs, apparently to commit suicide rather than land on my table like they were supposed to. I *did* have my Asepto loaded and ready to go when he asked for it; same for my sutures and Balfour. I blew thru my counts like a pro, too, but managed to drip sweat on my back table *and* the patient, and all down the front of my gown. I looked like the Incredible Melting Woman. BigDaddy was concerned to the point of asking if I needed to just stop and sit down and told me it was totally OK if I had to. He was afraid I was going to faint and I told him I wasn't going to faint but I was definitely going to throw up when it was all over. I didn't barf but it was a close thing. Oh, and I came out to him. We were talking about something a classmate said about gays and I just blurted out "And you know, I wanted to say 'Hey, I'm one of "those people", thank you very much!'". BigDaddy took it in stride and didn't bat an eye. I really do believe he's our kind of freakmonkey.

In that same vein, tomorrow is casual day for us and I'm wearing capris which means all my tats will be visible. If someone asks what the leather pride flag is or why I have 2 male symbols around a female symbol or what that rainbow is, I'm gonna answer. No more of this closet bullshit. Let the chips fall where they may.

I had my hair cut off again after the Checkoff From Hell and I *love* it. My stylist person said anytime I had a stressful day to come in and ask for just a shampoo to help me relax. I told her I was all over that and I'd ask specifically for her. I also did the gray roots of death a new shade of red and I'm going to polish my toes. Girly shit perks me right up after a crappy day. Some dick wouldn't hurt, either.

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