Monday, 11/19/2007 - 11:36 p.m.

LJ and I were voted "Ms Impact" for 2007 by our local dungeon folks. How cool is that?! Not bad for the kid who was fat and ugly all thru junior and senior high. I'm still fat but it's attractive now apparently. Hee.

I'm really looking forward to T'Giving with my family. I'll start cooking tomorrow night.

I'm really not looking forward to Xmas with the Dysfunctionals. Conversation Saturday with my father regarding Xmas plans - the {} are where real names go.

Me: Hi, Pop, I need to know the {Dysfunctional Xmas} date.

Him: What? Oh, um, what? I'm watching the ball game.

Me: I'm sorry to interrupt *that*, but I need to know the date of the {Dysfunctional Xmas} because if it conflicts with a day I'm on call then there's still time to change my call.

Him: Oh, ummm...well, let me ask your {drunken stepmother} and see if she knows. {drunken stepmother}, do you know when the {Dysfunctional Xmas} is? XMAS!! Do you know when the {DYSFUNCTIONAL XMAS} IS?!! WHAT?! THE {DYSFUNCTIONAL XMAS!} DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT IS?!!! No, she doesn't know. I'm just watching the ball game.

Me: Wonderful. Would {your sister} know when it is?

Him: Who?

Me: {your sister}.

Him: Oh, well, um, she might. She probably does. She plans it every year, you know.

Me: *eye roll* OK, so will we open presents at your house or her house?

Him: Lemme ask {drunken stepmother}. Hey, {drunken stepmother}, are we opening presents here this year? PRESENTS! WHERE ARE WE OPENING PRESENTS THIS YEAR?! HERE?! YES?! OK, we're opening presents here this year.

Me: Dear God. OK, I'm calling {your sister}. Bye. *click*

And people wonder why I dread the holidays with those two. Christ.

In other dysfunctional news, the Boy's crackwhore stepmother stole some more money from his dad to buy drugs. Oh, and she's stopped eating. Oh, and the Boy has pretty much stopped speaking to his father because of her. Happy Holidays, indeed.

previous - next