Sunday, 03/05/2006 - 12:39 a.m.
ML got me alone in the potty at the Munch and asked if she and I were OK, which put me on the spot. I told her that the last I knew from her was that she was going to leave BDR if he had indeed cheated on her *AGAIN*. I have enough bullshit going on in my own life I really don't want to get involved with someone else's, especially when I've heard the "He cheated on me, I'm leaving him" tune about 4 times now. I told her all that but I also told her she had a place to stay if she did finally leave him. She's not going to leave him no matter what, though, and I've hit the point where I do not want to be involved in their dramas any more.
Exhusband is definitely moving and Fiancee asked today if DC and I wanted to move back into the house and just assume (I guess) the mortgage payments. I cried a little over a year ago when I moved out but I really bawled today. Over a house. Plaster and bricks and wood. Feh. Didn't stop me from really letting loose and crying, though. It stopped being my house the day Exhusband told me to get out and the wound is 98% healed but the scab got pulled off a little today.
I'm stressed over school, too, which was part of the cryfest. I'm still excited and still looking forward to my career, but I had a major crisis of faith the day of my checkoff. Tuesday was the first time since school started that I really questioned whether this was for me or not. The new term starts Monday and I'm mostly looking forward to it, crisis of faith or not.
The Boy jerked me off into a screaming mimi orgasm which is what triggered all the crying. He and DC ganged up on me this morning in the dining room floor before the Munch and I cried a little then but that was a good sex-release cry. This was a cleansing cry and a stress reliever but there was a lot of sadness in it, too.
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