Tuesday, 07/12/2011 - 12:49 a.m.

"I can plainly see that you're busy doing something else, House Bitch, but I didn't plan ahead so you need to stop what you're doing and fix *my* problem."

"I'm hungry and lazy, House Bitch. Magic me up some dinner."

"I'm a clinging, black hole of endless need, House Bitch, and I demand that you pander to my whims right now!"

"I'm horny, House Bitch, and I expect you to have sex with me on demand."

Some days I feel like a glorified step-n-fetchit babysitter that DC and Nigel also happen to have sex with. Feh.

In other craptastic news, Nigel and I had planned to go down to Florida for Labor Day and stay with his sister and brother-in-law (and mah Sugarbean!). However, the penalty for staying under their roof is we are expected to attend church with them. Period. It's a fundie-divorce-is-frowned-upon-and-remarriage-is-really-frowned-upon-and-don't-even-get-us-started-on-people-not-exactly-like-us-you-will-be-assimilated Church of Christ abomination. Since I don't give in to extortion (or as I've been saying "I don't negotiate with religious terrorists") I won't be staying under their roof.

If our spiritual/soul well-being was the reason behind his sister's logic, I could maybe understand that and might reconsider but it's not. I specifically asked if Nigel and I attended somewhere of our choosing on Sunday morning would that work and the answer was no, it would make them look bad to everyone else if we were guests in their house and did not attend their particular church with them. Yes, that's the answer I got. Wait, what? How does anyone at your church even know we're staying with you? Who the hell are they to question what guests in your house do or not do? What the fuck is wrong with you that you don't tell all of them it's none of their business and to mind their own? I won't be part of your dog-and-pony show, either, thank you. I didn't swear when I replied to his sister but I did ask those questions. Her response was to tattle to Nigel about how hurtful and offensive and brutal I am. Alrighty then. He explained (much more tactfully and sugarcoated than I ever could) that yes, it's their house and they have the right to do whatever works for them but we have the right to do whatever works for us and that includes not staying with them. He also told her that my intention with all I said was not to hurt her feelings and that she would definitely know if I was trying to hurt her feelings. He told me I made her cry and I snotted up. I may be a crazy bitch with almost no tact or diplomacy but I still don't want to make anyone cry unintentionally by just being me. I'm majorly pissed off (and will be for a while) that she expects me to tone me down to placate her but expecting her to sack up and grow a thicker skin is mostly out of the question. Walking on eggshells around an emotionally fragile person makes me want to scream and if his sister was just any random acquaintance in my life I wouldn't waste 5 minutes on her. I would like an honest answer from her about why it's anyone else's business what guests in their house do or not do, but I'm 100% sure that's just a pipe dream.

As soon as I can figure out how to apologize in the most non-offensive sweetie-muffin-honey-pumpkin way for making her cry, though, I will. That bothers the fuck out of me.

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