Monday, 11/10/2008 - 4:36 p.m.

The Boy lives in Podunk and I have to pass a lot of woods in order to get back to the city. I expect to see deer on the side of the road, sometimes dead, sometimes with their little deer families - daddy & mama deer, and several baby deer. OK. What I don't expect is a crazed deer leaping out of the parking lot of a retirement community a mere 6 blocks from my house, running across the street like the hounds of hell are after it. Holy crap. I screamed like a sissy and slammed on the brakes. Thank Christ it was almost midnight on a Sunday and no one was out.

I am a big ol' fatty fat (I'm anywhere from 260 to 275, depending on when you catch me and how much gravy I've had) and I'm short. So I'm a porkpie and I deal with it. There is a new show on reality TV that pissed me off no end this weekend and here's why. Ruby is an almost 500 pound woman who was told that she had to lose weight or die. Alright, I'm not pissed off yet. She's going to a gym with a personal trainer and she's consulted a nutritionist so she can cook better and therefore eat better. OK, not pissed off yet. They interviewed her friends and support people and the blonde, thin, pretty friend says Oh, it's so hard to deny her what she wants, food-wise, because I want her to be happy. OK, now I'm pissed off. You know she's been told by her doctor to lose weight or die and you're still giving her junk? You're a bunch of fatty enablers and I want to slap all of you.

If *she* sneaks off to the grocery store and loads up on candy (or beer, or pretzels, or whatever) and eats it all, then that's on her. (Spoken from someone who made a midnight Fruit Gushers candy run and then ate an entire box in one sitting. Oink. Point is, that was all on me.) If *you* go to the grocery store and buy her a bunch of junk and give it to her, then that's all on you. Stop giving her candy and cookies and pie and whatever else she can't have! When she says "But I want a *fill in the blank* and stomps her foot, you say "NO! That's a bad fatass! NO! You can't have that!" (Bonus points if you say it like Cartman.) Being the bad guy sucks all kind of ass and no one likes it, but don't sit there and tell the camera that you really want to help her lose weight, and then turn around and give her something you know she can't have. You're part of the problem at that point.

I didn't realize how bad that all bothered me until I typed it out. I'm tickled she didn't go for the "quick-fix" of a gastric bypass, but I'm really really irritated about her "support" people. Feh.

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