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Saturday, 05/08/2010 - 3:08 p.m.

I ate a huge piece of leftover birthday cake about 5 am this morning, which led to some dreams about mostly forgotten exchanges with my father and stepmother over the years:

My father, calling me "Ham Hocks" as a "pet name" from the time I was about 12 til I was about 17 and I finally confronted him about it;

My stepmother, telling me when I was about 15 or so that they wanted to take me out places with them but I was too fat to be seen with and I embarrassed them;

My father, telling me when I was 16 that he would pay for any diet program I wanted to try because I didn't want to be a blimp all my life, did I?;

My stepmother and I, standing nose to nose screaming at each other when I was 21, after she listed my many faults as she saw them (being fat was number 1), and told me I was a burden to the entire family;

My stepmother, at Xmas 4 years ago, telling me that I must have lost weight because I didn't look nearly as fat as she remembered.

Luckily, I have more cake. Maybe I'll have better dreams this go-around.

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